Tag Archives: 39 weeks pregnant

When Am I Going to Pop?

Good question, Eggdrop.

Everyday my good friend, nethermede, calls me. She doesn’t say hello. She just yells, “STILL PREGNANT?”

Everyday my mom calls. She doesn’t say hello either. She says, “Soooooo, how are yooooou?

Did you ever have PMS for three weeks straight? Because that is what the last month of pregnancy is turning out to be like. Luckily I’m not bitchy. But every night for the last three nights I’ve had such bad cramps and backaches. I just keep hoping they are being productive. If you want to give me pain, that’s fine. But it better be earning its keep, is all I’m saying. I had an episode last week that I thought was a contraction. (Apparently according to my midwife, when one has a contraction, you don’t think it might be one, you know, much like an orgasm.) So anyway, it sure felt like a contraction to me. I was driving and I couldn’t focus. I had to breathe differently, etc. At my midwife appointment, I was no more effaced or dilated. I’m just begging you, universe: go ahead and give me the pain, but make it productive. No sloppy, useless pain, please.

Then today I had a very PMS moment. My honey, my big boy and I went to the New York Aquarium for some family time. We went to see the seals perform. They started blasting that song from “Bring It On,” you know, the spirit fingers one? Y’all Ready for This? And everyone was clapping and the trainer was getting the seal to clap and my son was not very interested. I just burst into tears. I couldn’t stop myself. I was all choked up that this might be one of the last times that my family will be together just the three of us. I could not stop crying. My poor honey thought I was going into labor.

I can sort of see why some folks might pine to be induced at this point. It just makes you feel a little crazy. I mean, I think there is a real reason why PMS only lasts about a week. There is a limit to how much a human can take. And it is hard to make any plans when you know you might be radically changing your life anytime in the next 24 hours – two weeks. You know? Do I want to go swimming on Thursday? Hells yeah, if I don’t have a newborn and stitches in my whoo haaa. Do I want to go see Beth Orton in the park on Saturday? Yup. But I’d rather have this birth thing over-with by then, thanks.

Who can answer Eggdrop’s question? Who, besides Trucker, knows? Take a shot at it. If you guess correctly, I will write you a post on any topic you request.

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