Category Archives: Waiting and waiting and…

Two-Week Wait Advent Calendar #2

The last one worked wonders. Two of my friends got pregnant using it, one was on the first try.  This is not scientific evidence or anything… but crossing fingers and picking up lucky pennies count in situations like this.  So I’m doing it again.

Here’s how it works… I know how rough the TWW can be.  I did it 11 times.  I think I could maybe write an Elizabeth Kubler-Ross-esque book on the stages of denial and anger and joy that one goes through in those two weeks.  So a while back, I thought, wouldn’t it be fun if I could make an advent calendar like the Christmas ones?  And each day of the TWW you could open a little window and get a treat?  That might make it ever-so-slightly easier to bear.  Now I have a very small handful of friends who have secretly told me they are TTC.  So this is for you, my secret IRL friends… and for you, too, my virtual friends.  May you only have to do one TWW!  And if you have to do two, I have two calendars, now. Open one link each day of your wait.

Stage 1 — Excitement

Day 1  Get pumped.  Imagine each person in the audience is a 100,000 swimmers, each one working toward the same goal.  Scroll down and click on the DipDive video link.  Don’t read the article first.  Just watch.

Day 2 Positive visualization.  Since this is a live-streaming link, it may not work forever.  Let me know if I need to change it.  Imagine this is you. If you are a vegetarian, this might not work for you. 🙂

Day 3 Some more positive visualization.  Short but sweet.

Stage 2 — Denial. You might be thinking, depending on how many TWWs you’ve experienced, what am I doing?  I’m going to jinx this try.  Stop thinking about it!  Stop! Stop! So here are a few days worth of distraction.

Day 4 — Is it day 14 yet?  Wait, day 14 of what?  I’m not doing a TWW!  I’m just my plain old self, not even thinking about such a thing at all.

Day 5 — Pick one and go see it.  While you have the time, money and energy.  🙂

Day 6 — You are almost through the first week of the-thing-that-shall-not-be-named.  Not that I’m naming it, or anything. Why don’t you celebrate with some cake? (This is my favorite blog… always good for a laugh, so surf away there while you ignore that thing you’re not ignoring, kay?)

Day 7 — If you really want to get distracted for hours and hours on end, try this… I mean, you are already on the computer, so you probably already do.  But if you don’t I’m sure you have some long-lost friends out there wishing you would.

Stage 3 — Trying to ignore, yet simultaneously causing, physical signs of pregnancy.  Physical signs of pregnancy, by the way, are evilly similar to those of PMS.  Just breathe, my dear.  Breathe.  And get your hands off of your b00bs.  Your prodding is what’s making them sore.

Day 8 — I know what will stop you from groping yourself… put yourself in a white over-the-car luggage holder in a bathroom stall. Yeah.  That ought to do the trick.  Or, maybe try wearing a sparky, flamey-type bra thing. (Try to ignore the vodka.  You may have some in a few days.  Or not.  Both wouldn’t be a bad thing.  Unless you are in recovery.  Then just try to focus on the costumes!)

Day 9 — Fu*k it.  Go shopping.  Just… stay away from that baby button. EEehh!  I saw that.  It is too early.  Focus on yourself while you still can.  If you are pregnant, it won’t be about you anymore.  And for my lesbian friends, you may be spending so much on baby making supplies… what’s another $50 to spend on yourself?  Nothing!  A drop in the pan.  Go.  You have my blessing.

Day 10 —  I said stop touching your b00bs.  And that goes for your partner, too.  Nah.  She can, but you can’t.  Sorry.  I’m getting off the point.  The point is, you only have a few more days to go.  Yes, the cramp you felt yesterday could be PMS.  It could also be implantation pain.  But since there’s no way knowing which at this point, why don’t you just look at this.

Stage 3 — Wanting it to end.  Trying not to test too soon.  Really, really wanting it to end.

Day 11 — Put down that pee stick!  Put it down and back away.  If you test now, it will be negative and you will feel sad, quite possibly for no good reason.  Why don’t you just try to meditate. And if you feel nauseated, you’ll know the real reason.

Day 12 — You may want another positive visualization at this point.  If you are trying for the first child, look at this.  If you are working on making a sibling, open this oldie but goodie. (Yeah, this was on the first calendar, but I figured I should carry over some mojo from there.) If you are an amazing master of your own mind and you still are ignoring that thing that will be over in two days (go, you!)  Watch this. (Ok, you can all watch that one.)

Day 13 — Please wait one more day to test.  I mean, you can go ahead and test, but I recommend waiting just one more day.  Look, you waited 13 already.  You can do it.  Where ever you are on your journey, I ‘m glad you’ve bothered to spend some time during the trip at my humble little blog.  And here, I give you the beginning of my final TWW.  And here, the end.  I hope this is the end of your final one, but if not, that’s ok, too.  Let me know how it goes.  XOXO!

Day 14 — Take the test already.  And don’t be a stranger.

Love,

ohm

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Tore Up from the Floor Up

That’s something my honey says sometimes.  It can refer to the way she or I look on a bad day, or to an item of clothing that has seen better days.  Or anything that has seen better days.

Today I feel tore up from the floor up.

This week I did a lot of work on the book.  I actually took a day off from work to write.  Which felt empowering, if not stressful.  I really like writing.  Did you notice?

When I got back to work, we all learned that a colleague had passed away the night before after a long battle against lukiemia.I haven’t bothered to learn to spell the disease.  I’m still raging against it since it took my friend Joannie. Now Maria’s gone.  She was only 31.  She had a little girl.  That $hit kicks my ass.

Now my dear eggdrop is having a really awful time.

The only consolation… my wonderful neighbors have knocked each other up.  And my babies’ clothes are out in the universe and they keep popping up on the web.  But I’d really like to send some cute hand-me-downs eggdrop’s way someday, so can you people send some energy her way for those ten more eggs?  Ultimately, we just need one good one.

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Two Week Wait Advent Calendar — Week Two

You are over the hump.

Now, of course, it is getting really hard to stop obsessing.  You keep going on line and searching for “early pregnancy signs.”  It keeps saying the same things.  Stop that.  Please.  Having symptoms isn’t going to make you any more or any less pregnant, my dear.  And honestly at this point, you probably would not really be feeling any of them.  Here’s a little something to keep your mind off things.  Or at least to try to keep your mind off things.  Mmmmmwwaah!

Day 8: You are more than half-way there.  Think outwardly.  Spend your waiting time helping out some other folks, why don’t you.

Open the door.

Day 9: This one is for your honey.  If you don’t have a partner (you, go SMBC!), this one is for whomever it is you’ve been obsessing to for the past nine days, or nine months, or nine years.

Open the door, oh most valuable friend and/or companion.

Day 10: Do not, I repeat, do NOT take a pregnancy test today.

This day has two options.  For those of you who want to think about babies and have some positive visualization, open this door.  For those of you who keep saying to yourselves, “Baby?  What baby?  I don’t know nothing about no possible baby.” Open this door.

Day 11: Step away from the pee stick.  I mean it. Go grocery shopping or something productive for goodness sakes.

Open the door.

If you are now, or in the future, planning on having a second child, (Hi, J!) open this door, then open this one.

Day 12:  You are so close.  Take a deep breath.

Open the door.

Day 13: For the love of all that is sane, give your pee sticks to a neighbor, or put them in a safe deposit box until tomorrow.

Open the door.

Day 14: I don’t know what to do here. Just go pee on the stick and tell me what it said.  I can’t wait any longer, either.

I hope hope hope the wait was worth it this time.  If it was not, I can say only this:  the single most important quality I have as a parent and educator is patience.  You are doing the work of cultivating a huge amount.  Keep trying.  I’ll make more of these calendars if I have to.  If you are pregnant, guess what you have to do now?  Wait some more.  But it is a happier waiting.  Though perhaps no less stressful.

Love you, oneofhismoms

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Two Week Wait Advent Calendar — Week One

A little present for all of my TTC friends.  Only open the door on the right day of your wait, now. MMMMwaah!

Day 1:  You had your insemintation.  You tried to remember every detail,  even if this is the ten zillionth time.

Open the door.

Day 2: You are determined to not notice a thing about how your body feels different than when you have not had an insemination.  You are doing a good job so far.  Yet part of you can’t help envisioning what is going on in your fallopian tubes.

Open the door.

Day 3:  Is it really only day three?  Think about something amazing that might make you happy.  (If you are me this does.  It isn’t perfect, but it makes me happy.)

Open the door.

If that doesn’t make you happy, at least this must.  Open alternate door for day 3.

Day 4: You are almost to the end of the first week.   Take your hands away from your bo0bs!  Stop the squeezing.  They hurt because you are squeezing them too much.  Or maybe it is the progesterone… Put your hands on some real cupcakes.  And go see a movie.  Have you noticed I miss going to the movies?  (Sorry this one is not gluten-free.)

Open the door.

Day 5: Go on a date with your honey.  When you do have your baby, you won’t get a chance to go out so often.

Open the door.

Day 6: You feel surprisingly calm.

Open the door.

Day 7: Perhaps something shiny will distract you from noticing every little twinge.

Open the door.

You are finished with week one!  You totally rock.  Stay tuned for my second installment. XOXO!

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Behind Door Number 2…

I got a kooky idea.

I was thinking about my friends Dakota and Mulberry, who are just beginning yet another two week wait.  I wanted to somehow make it celebratory, rather than stressful.  I know.  You can’t just do that, as evidenced by the terrible “Have a Happy Period” commercials.  But still.

How about we make a TWW advent (w/o the religion for those who can live without it… with for those who can’t) calendar?  That way, the 14 odd days counting down could be a little fun.

Day one should have a feather.  Hope.  Hope is a thing with feathers.

Chocolate should be involved.  Perhaps something to protect one’s boobs from too much investigational prodding.

What do you think the other doors should have?

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The Last Time I Was Here

It is inevitable.  When I go on a trip somewhere I’ve already been I spend a lot of time thinking about the last time I was there.  The last time we went to my honey’s mom’s house in South Carolina, my blog was three months young.  It was July 4 weekend, 2007.  I think.  I’m pretty sure.  I may be confusing two visits.

One memory I kept having was of stumbling upon eggdropblogger‘s blog, while sitting by the pool (because it is the only place we could “borrow” a neighbor’s wifi.)  Since then, she’s developed quite a following.  She’s also become an IRL friend.  I’m really glad I found her.

I remember I was in the middle of a TWW.  It was one that didn’t work, obviously.  But each one, I realize now, was a step toward the one that did work.  And each one made me both stronger and weaker —  both more optimistic and more pessimistic.  Each one brought me closer to my invisible friends on the internets.

This is a memory that was probably from an earlier trip.  We called the sperm bank and they actually had four more vials of our cakiedonor.  So much hope.  But not enough foresite to actually go to a doctor and step up the odds.  Now I know that it took five tries at the doctor.  It never would have been with cakiedonorsperm.  Which is ok.  There is only one Trucker.  He is 100% himself and 100% perfect with the genes he has, thank you very much.  In hindsite it makes all sperm donor stress seem tiny.  I don’t really know how much it matters who piddled in a jar in California.  Perhaps when the boys grow up, if one of them finds his donor and the other does not or something like that, it will matter more.  For now, I’m extremely happy with both generous men who helped us make our family.

I’m happy it didn’t work when it didn’t work.  And I’m elated that it did when it did.  It really was the only way to get my son.  The one I was supposed to get: my Trucker.

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Too Nervous

So much is on the line today.  I can’t even see straight.

Since I can’t see straight, I certainly can’t write for myself.  So, go read my friend’s well-written election post.

And then go VOTE.

I want to hear your voting experience.  Let me know how it went.  I’ll send you a virtual ice cream and a virtual coffee if you vote.

Love, OHM

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