Category Archives: Third Trimester!?!

Last Year Today

I blogged twice.

I lost my mucus plug.

My honey had put me on her own honey-imposed bed rest. Because my feet had turned into sausages the night before.

The day before I had written a draft of how I’d hoped my birth would go.

All week, as I’ve been running around planning Trucker’s first birthday party, I’ve also been thinking: last year today I...  Because I will never let go of this week last year.  And you guys were sitting here in my dining nook with me as I blogged away with my belly tight and my feet up on a chair, wondering how it would all play out.

Now I have a hefty little man walking — yes, WALKING (sometimes running) — around my house.  I have sons — brothers.  Two boys that we made and this relationship they are creating on their own.  I do not have two blog posts in one day.  I’m too busy running back to the store to exchange some of the board books I bought as party favors because I realized that most of the kids coming are actually siblings, including two or three sets of twins, and they don’t need several copies of the same book in the house. (Deep, I know.) And wondering if it is ok to make the cupcakes two days ahead of time and frost them that morning.  Or will they be stale?  I don’t think you guys necessarily need to read about the brainless ramblings of what is essentially a housewife.   Not that all housewive’s ramblings are brainless.  Just mine.  See?

I keep checking my blog, thinking there will be more comments.  But I haven’t written any more posts.  I have some in my head.  I’ll try to get them out to you.  Because I love my invisible friends.  Muuuwah!



Filed under Labor & Birth, my hon, my second son, Third Trimester!?!, Trucker


Ok, people.

I’m actually going to cook the turkey meatloaf.  My Brooklyn tank doesn’t fit over my Trucker bump.  I don’t actually own a Donna Read skirt.  So I’m settling for a big purple maternity shirt and black shorts.  I do have the bare feet, however.  I had a nice strong night of sleep last night.  I’m ready for action.

If I start to act out the draft of my birth story, perhaps reality will follow suit.

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Filed under Labor & Birth, Third Trimester!?!, Waiting and waiting and...

Things I Did That Aren’t On the List:

  • Ate 1/4 of a pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream
  • Cooked pizza with my son, opened “Cake’s Restaurant”
  • Taught Cakie how to make my iced raspberry leaf tea/Recharge cocktail using the big tea ball I bought at the co-op today — a skill every man needs!
  • Did all the Cakie fun stuff while my honey went out for drinks with some co-workers.  The co-mom needs some me-time before the newborn arrives, too!
  • Watched and criticized several episodes of “A C-Section Story,”  er, I mean “A Baby Story.”  I’m so high and  mighty.  But listen, I do know full-well that it can and might happen to me.  And I’ve said it before, if it is necessary, I’ll be glad I had the option.  It better be freaking necessary, is all I’m saying.
  • Took a long nap…but not really long enough
  • Helped my brother revise and edit his resume and cover letter
  • I made my birthing playlist of the songs I didn’t need to buy, the ones already in my library. I tried to buy one song (I think I’m going to buy all the songs requested by the IVP.  So you’ll kinda be there with me.)  Of course what happened every time I try to buy things on the internet happened again.  I spent an hour trying to retrieve several passwords which I have forgotten and eventually gave up.  There’s a problem with the playlist.  The songs that don’t make me laugh make me cry.  And I’m not even in labor yet.
  • Told at least 20 people that I’m not in labor yet. (Not including you guys.)
  • Printed out driving directions to the hospital for whomever ends up driving us.
  • Went to bed early… oh wait.  I didn’t do that yet.  I’m going to do that right now.


Filed under Labor & Birth, my son, Third Trimester!?!, Waiting and waiting and...


Well, people.  I lost my mucus plug.

Which could mean I may go into labor in a few hours, or a few days.

Which I already kind of knew.  But it was still exciting to have something, rather than nothing happen for once!


Filed under Labor & Birth, Third Trimester!?!, Waiting and waiting and...

This Woman’s Work

Thanks for checking my blog so much. I feel like I should be more entertaining than usual or something.

Since I have a captive audience, I thought I’d ramble a little about one of my favorite topics… being a non-bio mom. My honey put me on honey-prescribed bedrest today. Mostly because my toes turned into sausages last night. I’ve been lucky to not have had too much swelling so far in my pregnancy, so it kind of freaked us both out. The one thing on my to-do list for today is to sit on my bum with my feet up and put my out-dated cd collection onto my so-far-really-lame ipod. (Any suggestions from the itunes store would be much appreciated.)

This brings me to Kate Bush. Do you know the song, “Woman’s Work?” It is written from the perspective of a father when the mother is going into labor. And he’s just worried about her and wishing she’d never gotten pregnant and thinking something terrible is going to happen to his wife and wishing he’d been and done more for her.  They played it in the Kevin Bacon movie, “She’s Having a Baby” when his wife went into the room to have her c-section and he was left in the hall in his scrubs while they prepped her.  I can’t hear the song without crying.  I never could.  Before I realized I was gay.  Before I was left in the hall in scrubs while my wife was brought into the operating room for her emergency c-section.

It is weird to be the one becoming a bio-mom now, in a way.  Being the co-mom to Cakie has been quite a trip.  98% of the time, you just feel like 100% the mom.  And then there are the times when you’re standing in the hallway in scrubs, alone.  Nothing you can do can make you part of the action in those rare cases.  Now I have the baby inside me.  Guess what?  I still feel a little like I’m standing on the outside.  This person is inside my body.  Milk has leaked from my own breas.ts.  Yet the fact remains that the baby is a separate person from me.  I’m just housing him for a while.  Maybe that 2% disconnect is not a co-mom thing at all.  Maybe it is just a mom thing.


Filed under My Book, Third Trimester!?!, Waiting and waiting and...

Birth Story (Draft)

Ok, not mine. I didn’t do it yet. Psych!

I have an acquaintance who has an interesting one, though. I want to sort of do what she did. While she was pregnant, she would tell everyone the story of how she would give birth:

I’ll be working at home with my husband. I’ll start to have contractions. I’ll finish up my work and walk to the hospital. I’ll push the baby out. It will hurt, but not that much.

Here’s what actually happened:

I went to see Showtime At the Apollo in Harlem with my mom. For some reason, we decided to take the bus the 60-some-odd blocks home. I started to complain about the seats on the bus. They made my back hurt. After complaining several times, my mom looked at me and said, maybe you’re in labor. Nah. But we got off at the hospital anyway. I was in labor. I was six cm dilated. I labored for an hour and a half, then pushed the baby out. It didn’t hurt that much.

Ok, ok, Mr. T, I’m no fool. Don’t pity me. I know it is going to hurt. But I like her birth story. I think about it a lot. I think I need to draft my own birth story. Perhaps her positive visualization benefited her somehow.

Here goes:

Around nine in the morning, I’m home cooking turkey meatloaf to freeze for post-baby time. I’m either wearing a big Donna Reed skirt with an apron with green apples on it, or cut off jean shorts with a big belt, a black Brooklyn tank top and bare feet (you choose). I start to feel some contractions. Painful, but also a little tickly like a combination of Braxton Hicks and period cramps. I call my honey. She comes home from work. I finish making the meatloaf. I bounce on the birthing ball, while my honey gathers the suitcase and the car seat and the little bag of food and pillows. We slow dance in the living room for a while. When they start getting stronger and closer together, I jump in the bathtub and have a glass of wine. It is still happening, but it doesn’t hurt as much in the tub with the wine. My brother arrives to take over Cakie duty. He picks him up from my neighbor’s house and plays with him until bedtime, while my honey and I take a short walk around the block. I stop once in a while and lean on a tree. It hurts, but I can handle it. We get home. Cakie’s in bed. I go in and kiss him between contractions. We call the midwife. She asks how far apart they are. I tell her. She says, “Drink another glass of wine, then come on over to the hospital.” I enjoy my wine. My driving friend (I’m not sure which one. Somebody will be home,) comes over and loads up the car. We have an uneventful ride to the hospital. No traffic. No stress. I notice birds over the river between contractions. I notice the colors of the lights on the Empire State building. My driver and my honey remain calm and cool. I do some moaning, but I don’t puke and my water doesn’t break. (I need to use the damn hot tub in the birthing center, folks!) We get to the hospital and a clean room awaits us. I labor for a few more hours, then I push the baby out. He’s fine, we’re fine, we all fall asleep in the bed together. We wake up together and spend the next hours bonding. One of my good friends shows up with a roast beef sandwich from Bouchon (hint, hint). Done.

I just have no idea about the pain, so I’ll assume it will be huge, but I’ll be able to handle it. I need to have an uneventful ride to the hospital in my draft because that’s the part that stresses me out the most.

I know yesterday I was a little hypocritical. I keep saying it is silly to induce or to even want to, then I did something that is pretty much inducing before my due date even got here. All I can say is, I never claimed to be sane. I think I’m back on track today. I can handle another week or week and a half of this pregnancy. It is not very hard. I’m not working and I’m not in pain. And I enjoy sleep. Sleep is good. For those of you who are sure I’ll give birth today, I will say that today was the due date my ob gave me with the ultrasound, about which I argued with her much and eventually left her practice. It will be interesting to see how far past her version of my due date I actually go. Or if I do give birth today, I guess I’ll have to stop by her office and let her say, “I told you so!”


Filed under Third Trimester!?!, Waiting and waiting and...

Sweeping Up

I can retell my midwife appointment today in less than one word.  Ready?


My honey came again.  I was in the room with my two wives.  Midwifey said, “Well, do you have any questions?”

Me: Yes!  Where is he?

MW: Well, we know where he is.

My Honey: We just don’t know when we’ll see him.

Me: I can see why so many people freak out and ask to be induced.  It is just so hard playing this guessing game.  But I still don’t want to be induced!

MW: Do you want me to sweep your membranes today?

Me: Uhh (unchecked items on my nesting list pop into my head)… Let me think about it and answer you at the end of our talk.

MW: Ok… [asks usual questions]

MW: Let me measure you and take your blood pressure and we’ll talk about the sweep

So I measured at 39 weeks. Hello?  My blood pressure was higher than usual.  She told me to take it easy.  Of course we went immediately to the new Ikea after the midwife and our lunch date, not unlike the last supper but with lesbian moms instead of Jesus and his buddies, but that’s another post…  Then midwifey said she sways on the side of sweeping the membranes because we don’t want the guy to get too too much bigger.  Yeah.  He needs to come out through my, so I hear you!

I told her to sweep.  More because I’m afraid of going past the birthing center date than anything else.  So she swept.  It kind of hurt.  Mostly because she pushed his body all into my ribs.  Pain… I don’t think I quite know pain yet, so I can’t say it hurt too much.

When I asked her if it really works, she said, “Who knows?”  When I asked her when he’s coming, she said, “I thought you were ready two weeks ago, so maybe you shouldn’t ask me!” “????????”


Why isn’t my midwife psychic? The nerve.

So. Sorry for rambling.  I have a very important thing on my nesting list left to do involving a call to my insurance company.  I’d like him to start coming soon.  Hopefully, soon means after 9 am tomorrow, so I can call the insurance company as I should have done about two months ago.  Then he can come.


Filed under Third Trimester!?!