I often look for myself in my children. There are some things about one’s self that one does not want to see. Your faults seem so magnified when your children have them.
Neither my honey nor I are good at making decisions. I always change my mind about things, then spend a good amount of energy regretting the fact that I changed my mind and wondering what would have happened had I not changed my mind. It is annoying.
This is what my morning looked like: I asked Cake if he’d like to choose his own clothes, or if I should pick them out for him. He wanted to choose them. Then he changed his mind. I should choose them. When I came out with a striped tank top and brown shorts, he regretted not picking out his clothes himself. Then he went back and chose another shirt after bickering with my honey about if he was allowed to choose another shirt, since he did say that I could pick out his outfit.
When it was time to go, he went to put on his blue sneakers. He was initially going to wear his new brown shoes that I got on sale. I told him if he did not want them, I could return them to the store. He wanted them. He wanted them, but he didn’t want to wear them. We said, that if he didn’t want to wear them that was fine, but we’d need to return them if he had no plans to ever wear them. So he put them on. I grabbed his visor, which he had wanted to wear yesterday. He got his helmet and scooter. Trucker, who had been waiting patiently while all of the shoe fuss was happening, already had his helmet and was ready to go. We left for daycare. When we got downstairs, Cake said he didn’t want to wear his brown shoes. Normally, I would have just said, “Oh well. Too bad, Kiddo.” But I noticed that they looked a little big. So I offered to go back up and switch for the blue. Of course now, I won’t be able to return them. The key didn’t work in the lock, so we walked over to the other door. (Trucker scooted.) When we got to the other door, Cake said, “I’ll wear them.” Ugh. Ok, so we set off for daycare. But first Cake stopped, got off his scooter, handed me his helmet and grabbed his visor. “I thought you wanted to scoot.” “No.” So we start to walk, but by this time, I’m really annoyed. And I don’t know why I was carrying his scooter. I should have made him do it.
We cross the street. We’re standing on an overpass, on the other side of which is a very busy blind turn. Trucker bolts across the overpass. Cake grabs the scooter, and tries to start scooting without his helmet. In all honesty, I’m sure scooting without a helmet is fine. But we’ve pounded the helmet need into their heads pretty well, so I didn’t want him throwing it away. Trucker is half-way across the bridge heading for the dangerous corner. I whisk off Cakie’s visor, plop his helmet on his head and run after Trucker. Of course, he starts crying. When we got to the other side of the dangerous corner, Cake said through his tears, “I was just going to walk my scooter. I wasn’t going to ride it.” Oh. Well, I had to save your brother from death-by-SUV, sorry I was in a rush.
Here’s the thing, if I went over this, many of the things we fought about were created by the parents. He didn’t need to wear those shoes. He didn’t. Why did we make him wear them? If we hadn’t forced him, I could be on my way to the store right now to get my money back. I’m actually strongly in favor of not forcing kids to wear clothes they hate. I just remember from my own childhood, how miserable the wrong clothing item could make me. If I hadn’t made him wear the shoes, the trip to school would have been a lot easier. And I could have still returned them. I know now, that they will probably not be worn again.
Trucker survived the trip to school, happy as a sweet baby clam. When we arrived, Cake came to me and gave me a big kiss. And said he loved me.
I hate bickering. I hate feeling like mornings like this could be avoided somehow. What is most frustrating is seeing that it is this fault that he got from his moms that is making us so annoyed. Yeesh.
Anyway. I hope those shoes don’t hurt his sweet little feet today.