I don’t know why I did it, but I feel like I made a gay parenting mistake.

My son, Cakie was talking about when he was in my tummy.  I told him he had been in Mama’s tummy.  Now he thinks I’m the least important mom.

My honey says not to worry, that all kids play favorites.  But not all kids have two wombs from which they could have sprung.  And not all kids are a cut and dry as Cake.  When he decides something, that is the end of the story.

So now I’m Trucker’s mom and A is his mom.  We keep trying to explain it to him; he keeps rejecting our explanations.  I spend much more time with him than A does.  We walk to school together.  I pick him up and entertain and feed him until A gets home.  He misses her.  So maybe he just wants to connect with her.

It doesn’t help that Trucker is a complete cling-o-rama on me.  He won’t let A read him a story.  Only me.  So when I try to read with Cakie, Trucker slides in and tries to take over.

They are both latching on to their bio moms.  It makes me feel weird.

Sorry I’ve not been blogging much.  My life feels a little like a hamster on a wheel.  Except I’m not getting any exercise.



Filed under family, LGBT, my second son, my son

4 responses to “Favorites

  1. sounds hard 😦 sorry… you didn’t make a mistake… this is all part of the fabric of our families. Cakie will come around, and Trucker will loosen his cling.
    was nice to see you the other day… let’s do it again soon!

  2. Our six year old goes back and forth with this. At times he has asked why I wasn’t the one who had him in my belly but usually he doesn’t care. Now that I had our twins he makes a point of telling people they were in my tummy – not sure why. Regardless I think kids just pick a favorite and then switch it up sometimes. It can sting at times but I’m sure Cake will never doubt you ate his mom too!

  3. nellie

    this is interesting….and something i never would have thought would happen. but it seems like the normal compartmentalizing that kids are known for. he may not have the ability to stretch his compartments right now, but he will! mostly since you and A are such awesome mamas, bio or non-bio.

  4. Pingback: A Message from Cakie | oneofhismoms

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