When A was pregnant with Cakie, our birth educator asked each person in the class to describe how they deal with pain.  That’s when I realized that for me, telling other people what hurts and how much it hurts really helps me cope.

So let me tell you about my belly.

It hurts.

It has hurt on and off since March.

I finally went to my holistic-yet-still-traditional doctor yesterday.  And would you believe her holistic-yet-still-traditional ass?  She told me to go dairy-free for two weeks.  But I’ll tell you something about lactose intolerance, it will not be tolerated.  I can’t have that.  I love cheese.  I’m facebook friends with cheese for god’s sake.  I had a retirement plan to become a cheese expert.  Plus, I’m not even sure I believe in it.  At least not for women with as much Britain in them as I have.   I’m about 1/4 Scottish, 2/4 English and Irish (more English than Irish) and the rest Luthuanian, with a little French Canadian.  My point being, my people eat cheese.  We eat cheese.  We eat cheese on our deathbeds.

Needless to say, my first dairy-free day hasn’t gone so well.  Considering last week I quit drinking coffee to help my stomach, I’m already a royal bitch.  But I pretty-much lost it when my colleagues ran into the room where I was eating lunch with birthday cake for my friend.  Red-mother-F’ing-velvet cake.  I’m proud of myself for not bursting into tears.  But I’m about to right now just remembering the cupcake I didn’t even taste.  Everyone’s life should be so hard.  Ugh.  I’m so spoiled.

Anyway, if it isn’t lactose intolerance, which it isn’t.  It might be IBS which has such an ugly name I’m not going to spell it out.  I have most of the symptoms for that.  The thing that sucks about that one is that it is chronic.  And you can’t have caffeine.  Frankly, I’d rather have cheese.  And ice cream.  And pizza.  Of course my disgestive issues also might be a few other things.

As if to prove that there is no possibility in the world of my having a lactose intolerance, my whole digestive system is out of whack right now and I’m in pain, topped off with a no-coffee headache.

I am grateful for everything I do have.  Grateful and cranky as hell.

Good night, dearies.



Filed under nothing at all

7 responses to “Bellyache

  1. CD

    you know, my sis-in-law went through this for years. the culprit? wheat. as in, she is a gluten-free girl fo’ life now. at first it was not dairy AND no gluten, but she reintegrated the dairy and it’s just fine. but still, no gluten. boo. sorry for even raising the possibility, but hoping that the fact she still eats cheese may be a silver lining!

  2. CD

    oh, i also failed to mention she at first was incorrectly diagnosed with IBS, then had her gall bladder removed and it still didn’t do the trick. yeah.

  3. Kim

    I had similar issues and I did give up the caffeine (sorry but it really helped) and went dairy free for w while. I also thought (and was diagnosed) with IBS but you know what has SAVED me? ProBiotics. They sell them at Trader Joe’s (or Whole Foods or something similar…). I take one pill every morning on an empty stomach and I am good to go. Seriously. Try it. Totally healthy for you. Just got my bottle out, mine is called, “Super Acidophilus Complex.” It rules. May fix your tummy AND let you love the cheese. Cause no one should have to live without cheese. It’s just wrong

  4. Sugar went through bad stomach troubles and was forced to give up basically everything because her dad has something Crohn’s-ish and so the doc kept working her up for everything under the sun, assuming chronic badness.

    Then she went to a real GI doc. Who said: you’ve been sick for this long and no one *tried* an antibiotic?

    10 days of Flagyl, and the Giardia was gone. (I got it too. From city water in the U.S. , fwiw.)

  5. Thank you! I’ll try anything. (Except, obviously, totally giving up dairy.) My doctor gave me the go-ahead to switch the IBS treatment with the dairy-free weeks, so I’m hoping it will get better with the fiber. I am going to go git me some cultures, though.

  6. starrhillgirl

    I hate to sound like one of those crazy-food people, but is most of your dairy pasteurized? Some of those crazy-food people – not that I am one – think that raw dairy is totally manageable for a lot of people who think they are lactose intolerant. There’s no real evidence for this – just anecdotal – but I do like raw milk. Make sure you check out the farm, though, so you know everything’s clean.

  7. I am mildly lactose intolerant and my digestive problems are definitely effected by stress. Probiotics really do help in terms of maintenance. If it does end up being a lactose issues, I have also had success with the lactose free (lactaid brand) milk and ice cream and dietary supplement that can be taken when you eat dairy products.

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