My PT is so nice and funny. It is hard for me to picture her as a drill sargent.
I went to my second PT appointment. This time I did not have my period. (Whew.) Of course that meant that she did have to do the internal exam. And she actually used the phrase “everything from the waist down” which sent TTC willies down my spine just from the memory of those early morning dates with Dr. Mug and his magic wand. Oye.
Apparently I have been doing (and saying) my pelvic floor exercises all wrong for all this time. Ok, well according to my handy-dandy online dictionary, I have been pronouncing Kegels (KAY-gels) correctly. But if what I’ve been saying right is what I have been doing wrong, then I need to change my Kegels to KEE-gels, as my PT calls them. My Kaygels have involved my leg muscles, my abs, my butt cheeks, and possibly my biceps. My PT called me a teacher who cheats. I’m not allowed to use anything but “these mucles” she said, as she pointed them out in the internal exam. “Oh. Only those guys?” I replied. “You can’t even use your eyebrows,” she smiled. “Only those guys… er, girls, then.” “Yes, just these girls. Try again using only the girls. That’s a Keegel.”
So I have to do 30 Keegels a day. Prolapsing is scary. Scary I tell you. And I need to up my fiber intake because I need to never, er, strain, if you know what I mean. It makes me prolapse. Which is scary. I feel a little like an old lady. And I guess I am technically middle-aged for those who only intend to live to be 76. I have to do these four things to keep from straining: 1) Add oil to my diet. Olive oil on the salad. Check. 2) Eat more fiber. I bought some flax seeds. I just need to figure out how to grind them. My PT mixes Fiber 1 with Lucky Charms. See, I told you she’s nice and funny. She said the marshmallows make up for the Fiber 1 yuck. 3) Drink more water. I don’t need to do that. I already drink plenty. And 4) Exercise. Get this: the crunches I’ve been doing recently are not so good for me. They are similar to straining in a bad prolapsy way. So I don’t have to do crunches anymore! Woo! She’s going to teach me other stuff for my abs. She told me to do yoga. So I have to do yoga. She told me to. Now I really need to sit down and figure out how to go. And she’s friends with my prenatal yoga teacher. Hence, I love her.
Boot camp is nice and cushy so far. I guess I should go do some Keegels now. Harumph.