That Tiny Sweatband, or Pelvic Floor Boot Camp, Part 1

I’ll admit that I procrastinated a great deal in scheduling my pelvic floor boot camp appointment.  I mean,  what’s going to happen?  Should I get an early-December bikini wax for the occasion?  Will she make me (gasp) exercise?  Does she have teeny tiny barbells?  What?

It took me at least two weeks to call the place.  Then another week to have my appointment.

It finally happened.  On Wednesday.  After I worked my second night of food coop shifts in a row.  At 7:30.  To you yet-to-have-babies people, 7:30 sounds like a normal time.  But to those-of-us-who-are-awakened-at-five-am-on-a-regular-basis, it may as well be three in the morning.  By the time I arrived at the PT office, I was pooped.  Everyone at the office was pooped.  I was the last appointment.  I asked if I could use the ladies room.  And guess what?   Just guess.  Who shows up when you least want her around?  Who pops in for a surprise when you’ve tried to wish her away?  Who?  You know.  AF.  There she was.  Laughing at me hard.  Why?  Why does it matter, you say, when I’m not TTC?  Because I was trapped in a physical therapy place.  I had no protection with me.  I was just about to do a a little pelvic floor work out.  I even brought my tiny sweatband. 😉  I couldn’t leave to go buy some protection.  I was trapped.  Why? Why, you silly lesbian, do you insist on not paying attention to when your period is due?  Because you obsessed over it for over two years, maybe?

When my very nice physical therapist finally escorted me into her office, I had to tell her of my dilemma.  She did have pads there.  So that was good.  She asked me a whole bunch of questions about pee.  Somehow one just doesn’t obsess over one’s pee the way one might obsess over, say, follicle size, or possible pregnancy symptoms.  So I maybe fudged my way through some of the answers.

She couldn’t do an internal, so that was also good.  I just wasn’t in the mood.  She poked my belly and smooshed my legs and asked me if it hurt.  Uh, yeah.  Then she asked me if I was active before I gave birth.  I told her about all my yoga.  And she asked me if I’d would like to get back to doing that.  Hells, yeah.  I would.  It was the kind of question that was obvious, but when she said it out loud and I answered her out loud, I realized how much truth there was to it.  I love being with my babies, so I haven’t figrued out how to fit in the yoga.  I need to fit in the yoga.  Even if it is at 7:30 pm.  I need to do it.

All in all, the first boot camp session wasn’t all that bad.  I need to go at least seven more times.  I’ll keep you posted.  I’m sure you’re dying to know every last detail.

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6 Comments

Filed under Post partum, TTC

6 responses to “That Tiny Sweatband, or Pelvic Floor Boot Camp, Part 1

  1. CD

    ditto on the yoga. definitely necessary for me.

  2. vee

    Where does the tiny sweatband go? I’ve got “what is your vagina wearing?” images, courtesy of the Vagina Monologues. Is she carrying a teeny water canteen too?

  3. ellie

    still working on that mix for your vagina’s teeny ipod 😉

  4. She has sweat pants, too. Nice ones.

  5. ellie

    i hope they say “JUICY” in rhinestones across the back!
    bwah ha hahaha!

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