More of me is thinking I should start weaning Trucker than the part that is thinking, “Oh what the heck, it doesn’t bother anybody. Let’s do it until it becomes an entertaining, fascinating, but admittedly (trying-hard-not-to-judge-because-I -don’t-actually-care) freaky video on youtube.”
I only really feed him twice a day now. Once when he wakes up, I usually take him into bed and nurse side-lying, so I can lay down for fifteen more minutes. Unlike other babies, though, this does not induce more sleep on the part of the Truck. He just tries to stand up and knock things down and wake up his other mom and teeter off the side of the bed as soon as he’s done. The second feed is after I pick him up from daycare.
So my loose “plan” was to distract him after daycare and give him a bottle and hope he doesn’t notice that the second feed is dropped.
Have I mentioned that Trucker never picked up the baby signs? Cakie was pretty good at them. But Trucker, God love him, doesn’t look at me very often. So I was kind of signing to the wall while Trucker watched Cake, or the cat, or a spot on the wall. But now he is inventing his own signs. His sign for nursing? He slaps me in the chest. Manners! So, I’m not so fond of that. Also, he is now insisting that he be able to put his fingers in my mouth while he nurses. I can’t get him to stop. Then, if I forget and make him laugh (which I do a lot because he is so very cute when he laughs) he bites me. All of the above are reasons why we won’t be nursing at age 8. But lately, he has been demanding the second feed (slap, slap, slap.) It leads me to wonder when it will end. And when I think about it actually ending, it makes me sad. But when he bites me… well, that also makes me sad. In a sharp, painful way.
This morning during the feed, he became frustrated. I was letting him nurse, but – slap, slap, slap – it wasn’t enough for him. And it struck me that perhaps it will be neither my choice nor Trucker’s when we stop. I just might run out.
And that bites.