Monthly Archives: August 2009

Brain Mushy

Too many birthdays.

Not enough sleep.

Sad/happy/tired/sad/happy.

My kitty passed away on Friday.  He had acute Leukemia.  Bugger all.  Then I hosted the best Superman party in the history of the land (or at least in the history of my apartment.)  And today, Trucker figured out how to climb stuff.  And not the stuff he was already climbing (shopping carts, step stools)  now he knows how to climb furniture.  So, we basically can’t even turn our backs for three seconds.  And he’s strong.  He can lift his entire body off the floor by holding the table top.  He’s like some jock.

I’m sad about Domingo.  Mostly, I’m just realizing how many times I think of him in a day.  Little things like, unconciously bracing myself to feel litter (that is no longer there) on the bathroom floor, to bigger things like telling my honey’s mom’s husband that the cat is no longer here when they arrived from South Carolina.  I realize how many people loved him.  A whole lot of people loved this cat who never left our house.  I’m coping ok. It is just weird to not have him here.

And I’m tired.  I slept three hours the night before Cake’s birthday party.  Mostly because we put the cat down in the afternoon, then we were too sad to function until it was too late.  We had to do all the party prep after bedtime.  Then that night we went out to celebrate my own birthday (which happened last month, but it was the only time I could get my close friends all in the same room.)  It was so yummy and wonderful to be with my friends and eat good food and drink good drinks.  I think I may have actually swooned.  And I was tired.

So that was rambling.

Just wanted to let you know what’s up over here.  And I wasn’t even organized enough to give you a bulleted list.

XXOo

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Filed under Domingo, family

My Honey

gypsygrrl asked

i know you do not blog about teaching ~ but i am being stubborn and asking anyway:

tell us the thing your honey did in your early dating* that made you know she was IT for you.

what is your favorite physical [rated-PG] thing about your honey?

*i know, lesbians dont date but i dont know how to phrase it otherwise – HAHA

I’ll just put this out there:  my honey prefers to not be mentioned much in this blog.

She’s a pretty private person.  She’s also a pretty person.

There was nothing in particular that made me realize she’s the one.

I remember having a long conversation about family.  About how it was important to both of us.  That made an impression.

She was my friend for a year before we got together.  So I knew her already before the honeymoon period.

And I liked her.  I went after her.  That was not my usual pattern.  I used to go out primarily with women who showed an interest in me first.  So I guess when I picked her, it meant something new and important.

I love every part of her, physically.  But I adore her face and her laugh.  She has a kick-ass laugh.

So gypsygrrl?  What was your question about teaching?

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Filed under my hon

The Family Cat

I don’t blog much about my cat.

The poor fellow has been all but ignored since Cake first popped onto the scene circa four years ago.  He became visibly alarmed when Trucker came home from the birthing center,  with good cause.  If he was ignored with just one kid, two kids pushed him even further down the family totem pole.

He’s such a sweet guy.  He has only once scratched either of my children and that, in his defense, one time was because Trucker was waving a string in front of him and he was batting at it.  Truck’s hand got in the way.

His full name is Domingo Perezoso Blanco De Marzo Henry [my last name hyphenated with my honey’s last name] Jr.

Domingo Perezoso means Lazy Sunday.  He wasn’t lazy when I first brought him home from the vet where I adopted him 11 years ago.  He was very puppy-like in fact.  I had a long chain made of those little silver balls often used on key chains or as lamp pulls.  We called it crazy string because it made Domingo go crazy with glee.  He played fetch and would chase the crazy string up walls.    He would also chase the other cat, Eli, around the house until she used her powerful chi to subdue him just by staring him down.

Once Eli passed away,  Mingo grew very large and spend a lot more time sleeping.  He started to live up to his name.

IMG_0890

Today I found out that he is really sick.  The vet said he seems to be in renal failure.  He said that he may have eaten something poisonous.    He took blood and told me he’d let me know the prognosis in the morning.  He said it didn’t look good.  He might not make it long enough to get the test reults.

So here I am feeling like a bad cat mommy.  Even though I love him and he loves me.  I put on the air conditioner and we’re sitting here together.  I’m giving him love and petting him.  I don’t need to be told I’m not a bad cat mommy.  I just need to feel like I do right by him from here on out.

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Filed under Domingo

Gay Gay Vacay

Oneofhismoms is on vacation.

A short one, yes.  But it is the first time my little family has gone somewhere alone and stayed in a hotel instead of with family or friends.

So here we are in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.  How very lovely.  I had heard it was gay friendly.  This morning, when Trucker got up at six am, I hauled it down to the Starbucks we’d seen when we arrived late last night for some caffeine.  Every single person who walked in was lesbian.  Except the one dude.  Of course now that I’ve been here for the day, I know there are plenty of straight families about.  It is a really interesting place.  I spent a summer living in Provincetown after college and I have to say, I kind of like it here a little more.  In P-town it was so very gay that the straight tourists tended to get a little uptight.  Which I don’t care about either way, but it was sort of a look-at-my-rainbow-flag-and-nipple-piercings-I’m-gay-gay-gay-damnit kind of scene.  Perhaps it has changed since then.  Also, when I lived there all of the lesbians pretty much had the same very short haircut.  I did not.  So if I dared to wear a skirt, I’d get hit on by every straight guy within a mile radius.  That said, I did love my time there.  But this place is different.  Mind you, I haven’t even been here for 24 hours yet, but it seems almost seamless.  Everybody just seems to be co-existing.  And having a good time.

It is nice for families, too.  The sidewalks, at least where we are, are very stroller-friendly.  The boardwalk is not up any steps.  It is even with the sidewalk and the beach.  So it just seems very easy.  The beach is not too deep (as in, not to long of a walk from the boardwalk to the sea.)  So it is fairly easy to haul all of our gear to the water’s edge for sandcastle fun.

I’ve been hoping to find a gay-friendly and family-friendly vacation place for a while.  And though this place does not have as much character as I used to crave before I had kids, it makes up for it in ease of … just ease I suppose.

Now one thing I forgot about when I planned this whole hotel bonanza is the fact that the kids go to sleep at seven and eight pm.  Wooo!  Partaaaay.  So I’m glad we have a room with a balcony.  At least I can watch the party from here.  And when I say watch the party I mean watch the party.  The biggest, loudest boy party night spot is less than 200 feet from this balcony and my sleeping boys.  Next time I’ll look for the word “quiet” in the hotel description.  For now, I’ve invested six bucks in some heavy-duty earplugs.

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Filed under baby gear, family, LGBT

Mommyblogging: What’s In A Name?

On to this mommyblogging business…

I guess the reason I wrote the “Why Do I Blog?” post is that different folks have different reasons for blogging.  Different moms have different reasons for blogging as well.   Some want to vent.  Some are looking for community, when they are alone in the house with a sleeping babe.  Many are genuinely interested in writing.  Some seek fame. (At least in small circles.)  And others want to make money.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to make money.  I think all moms should magically be paid for their momming duties, whether they stay at home or mom after work.  Since we get paid in giggles and rolls on chunky legs, I see nothing wrong with trying to make some dough with the computer while the baby sleeps.

Some “mommyblogs” are really just advertising sites.  Again, nothing wrong with making some dough.  Would I want to add such a site to my blog roll so I could actually read it?  No.  Do I read spam?  No.  I think most adults can see through the fascade of a “review” of a product which also is advertising that product and giving it away in exchange for comments or being added to a feed.  Whatever.  Go for it, if it makes you happy.

Other blogs are actually interesting to read and they get so many hits that they could make money by adding some ads to the site.  Again, go for it.  Make dough.  Anyone who can write well enough for me to want to read it deserves to make some money, in my book.

The real problem, I feel, is in the name.  Who is calling me a mommy?  Because there are only two people who get to call me mommy:  Cake and Trucker.  Mommy is an endearment, not a title.  It almost seems sexist, in that the idea of a mommy is a little cute thing.  Not an adult who writes adult things and has adult thoughts.  Just a soft, happy lady who bakes cookies and has elastic in her jeans.  It makes the woman who sits down to write about her life seem not-so important.  We are important, damnit.  So we need a different term, is all.

I vote for motherblogger.

What do you think?

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Filed under blogitty blog blog, working motherhood

The Best City Stroller

Kim asked about my hands-down best stroller purchase.  The answer is easy: Maclaren Techno XT.  Done.

Ok, I guess I should tell you why.  The Phil and Teds is handy for pushing two boys at once.  I also love the air-filled tires.  But the thing is huge, heavy and takes four hands to fold (not really, but it feels like it.)  I’m currently using it to commute the boys to daycare when they go because of the ease of  pushing both at once, but it is a pain in the rump to hold a door open while pushing this giant.  It looks like it has a large basket, but there is not any easy way to access the basket, so it may as well not be there.  The Volo is nice and light, but because of that, it tips over very easily.  Even though it always says  in the directions not to do this, moms hang things on strollers.  We just do.

If I were forced at sword point to give away all of my strollers but one by an evil anti-more-than-one-stroller villian, I’d keep the Techno XT.  It is light, it folds easily, it unfolds easily, it fits in small spaces.  It does not tip over very easily. In fact it has only tipped over once with the child actually in it.  That is because I put one-too-many bags on the back.  And by one-too-many I mean about 12.  The seat reclines for little tiny wee ones.  The sun shade is generous.  It comes with a rain cover. [Phil and Ted expect you to shell out sixty-odd bucks for a rain cover.  I say, let them get wet.  Or, get out the Mac again!]  The handles extend for tall folk like myself.  It accomodates a buggy board.  It rocks.  The only drawback is the small basket.  But for city folk, I reccommend the Mac.  And you don’t need the fancier Techno XT.   A Quest or a Triumph would do you just fine.  Also, the colors change with every season, so you can save some dough by purchasing last season’s colors at a discount. This site is very user-friendly and always seems to have a sale.  Also, if you want to spend more money on a fashion-forward Mac, you can fork over extra for a fancy Kate Spade or Juicy Coutre version.  Not for me, but whatever floats your boat.

If I were in the market today for a new stroller, I’d also take a gander at the City Jogger.  I never saw anything fold so quickly or easily before in all my days.  The Bugaboo looks very fancy and offers a smooth ride (it should, since it can cost as much as a used car.)  I will have you know, however, that most of my friends who did end up with Bugaboos often took their Macs with them when we met in the park or the Botanic Gardens.  That said, I too would probably use the Mac the majority of the time, myself.

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Filed under baby gear

Flying Pumps

S wants to know how nursing has changed for me since I stopped pumping.

ooh…i have a question. since i’m getting ready to throw my pump out the window, but haven’t just yet, how did not pumping change breastfeeding for you?

Let me start by saying that I love how she started the question with “Ooooh!”  I can just see her sitting in my class waving her hand and yelling “Ooooh!  Oooh!  Me!”  Instead of my usual, “I’ll call on somebody who is raising a quiet hand.”  I’ll go ahead and answer.  First though, I wish I were clever with graphic programs, I’d make a visual for you… throwing the pump out the window reminded me of one of the very first screen savers: the flying toasters.  Is anyone else old enough to remember that?  Just change the toaster to a pump.images

Hmmm.  For one thing, it got a heck of a lot more easy.  My life, that is.  I was spending less time washing and steaming pump parts and more time with the baby or at work, with my colleagues and doing my actual physical job.  I no longer forced myself to stay up to do that final pump around 11, so I was also getting more sleep.

Actual nursing, though?  Once I stopped pumping, I realized how few times I actually hold the baby to me and feed him.  Twice.  It came down to twice.  Once when we first wake up and once when I pick him up from daycare.  We decided to give him a bottle before bed, so we wouldn’t fall into the nurse-to-sleep situation.  If I were nursing him to sleep that would make it three times a day.  That’s not so many times.   It made it sad for me.  But it also forced me to enjoy the times that I do feed him.

My supply was ok on the weekends.  I do give him bottles when I feel like he maybe didn’t get enough.  For several months, though, the weekend nursing stayed healthy.  I don’t know if my supply just lessened, or if it is a result of the extra bottles, but the weekend nursing is less now, too.  He gets some bottles and some mommy milk.

It is bittersweet, really.  Part of me feels fine that I’m no longer sustaining him with just my body.  I mean, he’s eating food, too.  And now that he’s off formula, I don’t have to feel skeeved out by that anymore.  I’m planning on weaning him sometime in the next few months, anyway.  So I feel like the two feeds will make that transition easier than if I were nursing him all the time, whenever he had a hankering for a sip.

Another part of me, of course, feels sad.  This is my last baby.  It is the last time my girls will do the job they’ve been put on this earth to do.  I will miss that awareness of the milk coming in.  I will miss the look on his face as he nurses.  It is one of the few times in the day when he sits still and looks at me.  One part of me wants to make a plan to do this weaning.  And another part —  the part that will probably win — wants to let him make that decision.  It doesn’t interfere with my life at all.  The worst part of it being that the teeth (and by worst, I mean WORST!) sometimes hurt me a great deal.  Who knows?  Like most things I do, I will just wait to see what happens.

Now, I want to get to this mommyblogging issue, but I just realized that my yoga class starts 45 minutes sooner than I expected.  So I’ll do it tomorrow.


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Filed under b00b food