Trucker is almost a year old.
Almost a year ago, I pushed a nine pound, three ounce baby out of my body. Now, if you are pregnant right now, you may want to click away.
I tore, but it wasn’t bad. Not as bad as it can be. But a year later I’m still recovering. I want to know if this is unusual. The tear healed in a few weeks. My muscles, my pelvic floor? Not so much. I’m still feeling all loosey goosey down there. I still feel somtimes like parts of me are going to fall out. Do I do enough kegels? No. But I feel like when you tear a muscle, it heals fairly quickly. What’s up with my super-hero pelvic floor? Why so wimpy?
In other areas, My hair is freaking out. About two months post-partum my hair started to fall out. It fell out for about two more months. I knew it would fall out, but for two months? Now it is growing back. It is more curly than it was pre-Trucker. And I have these frizzy halo hairs around my hairline that make my hair look bad in a pony tail. A mother of two can’t afford to have her hair look bad in a pony tail. I could cut it short in a dykey little pixie like I had in my early twenties. But have I mentioned the color? Bright, fire red? It is very pretty long. I’m also a little afraid that if it chooses to be more curly, perhaps I might look like I’ve been hanging out with Daddy Warbucks if I cut it short. Now right near the temples, it is a different color. My friends have been going gray for a long time. I always wondered when it would hapen to me. I’ve had days at work as a teacher when I was sure I’d see a shock of white hair the next time I saw my reflection. My hair is not going grey, however. It is going gold. I’m gold around the temples. I guess it goes better with red than grey.
My body elsewhere is a little weird, too. From nursing I’ve lost lots of weight. Only in my legs. If they were long enough, I could wear a size six pant. Before I gave birth, I wore ten or twelve. My gut, on the other hand? It is bigger than usual. Which is to be expected. But I can’t figure out when to exercise. Well, now that school is out, I’ll be able to form and start a plan, but once it resumes, I’m not sure how I’ll squeeze it in. But the nursing is happening less and less often. Soon the nugget will be able to drink cow’s milk and I’ll be probably cutting out the afternoon nurse. I need to get cracking with the exercise. I want to be healthy.
Nursing Trucker these days is a full contact sport. He’s very big and active. He likes to climb around on me while he nurses. Sometimes he tries to walk away with me in his mouth. And now that he has his teeth (4!) he tries to bite me. I’m trying to do what the nursing book says and take him off before he bites and end the feed. But I don’t think he’s making the connection that the feed ends because of the bite. I think he just thinks biting my nipp1e is hilarious. Ha ha. I’m laughing so hard that it is not apparent to the naked eye.
That’s it. Besides the lovely spider veins that have appeared near my knees, I have nothing more post post post partum to report. Who knows how much of it is from giving birth and how much is from being almost 38? Not I.