I sent this email to a bunch of people. I’ve always wanted to start an email chain letter. Even though I loathe them. Here it is. Feel free to copy and paste and claim it as your own:
Subject heading: I Forfeit My Magical Powers
I have magical powers over certain people.
Until recently, I did not know this.
Apparently, if I have a piece of banana bread, somebody, somewhere who is also eating banana bread can no longer enjoy it.
If I do a cartwheel, those same somebodies must fall down or something while they are trying to cartwheel.
If I earn a dollar, the dollar they just earned looses its meaning.
If I floss, it renders their flossing efforts useless. Cavities and root canals abound.
If I get married, the vows these people have taken have been destroyed. Mutilated. Maligned.
If my kids get civil rights, the rights their kids have always had now taste like sour milk.
So here’s what I’m going to do: I give up this power. I don’t want my happiness to any longer get in the way of the happiness of the members of the Christian Right (or anyone else) who are somehow inversely tied to me through this strange magic. I forfeit it. I give it up! Enjoy your banana bread! Spend your dollar happily! Floss away! And for goodness sake, live a long and happy life with the person you love and the blessings of your family and friends and any deity you want to freely worship in our country. Enjoy those rights your family has always enjoyed. Oh, and let me enjoy mine.
Please Vote NO on Proposition 8. For the sake of all of our families and our banana bread. If you don’t live in California, please send this to someone who does.
[oneofhismoms], mother of two and always a bridesmaid
Should we say good things will happen to you if you forward this email to ten registered California voters?