Monthly Archives: September 2008

Is Anyone Else’s Hair Standing On End?

The more I read about Sarah Palin, the more I’m beginning to think maybe Bush’s ideas about the end of days might not be too far off-point.

The town where she was Mayor billed women for their rape kits.

Did you see the interview with Katie Couric? Yikes.

If so, I hope you also saw the SNL skit about it.

Knowing the American voting pool, I’m actually afraid they might vote for her.  Apparently slightly more than 50% of them like shiny things.  And McCain is… he’s just old and old.  He’s too old to have her as a vice president.  I feel like I’m stuck on the teacup ride at Dis.ney Whirled. Help!

And I feel like a financial idiot.  I don’t know what is right or wrong in this whole situation.  If Pelosi was against the bailout, does that mean maybe there might be some better solution?  Or are we just generally screwed now?

Is this about losing my mommy braincells or is all of this stuff truly confusing?

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Fractions

1 whole maternity leave = 1/2 over

1 half maternity leave = remaining

1/4 of my last baby’s first year = done like dinner

3/4 of my last baby’s first year = stretching out ahead of us like a shining 50 yard dash to toddlerhood

1/2 of my family = boys

1/2 of my family = women

oops!  2/5 of my family = human boys

1/5 of my family = eunich cat

2/5 of my family = human women  (Sorry, Domingo kitty!)

fraction of original brain cells remaining after giving birth = 2/98

fraction of babies getting pissed that I’m looking at computer instead of him = 1 whole

laters

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Filed under Domingo, family, my hon, my second son, my son

Coming Out Storytime!

I woke up this morning to a full bed.  Cakie snuck in sometime in the morning and was sleeping across the foot of the bed.  Trucker was in the co-sleeper.  The cat was taking up half of my side.  My honey was on the other side. Despite the fact that I had to remain in the fetal position to not kick anyone, I was just so happy.  Trucker was smiling in his sleep.  Smile. Suck suck suck.  Smile. One day you wake up and there is your family.  These people, at least the little ones, would not exist without the love between me and my honey.  Without the love, it would be just me and my cat.  Probably still on my old broke-down futon.

I got up to feed the cat, who threatened to awaken the whole family, and I stopped to check my email.  There I discovered an email from a young reader.  She’s been reading my blog for about a year.  She’s in a place and a point in her life which makes it hard for her to come out of the closet.  But she still has to some degree.  She called me a role model.  Wow. I’m calling her a role model back.  So there.  Coming out has not been too too hard for me.  I have ex-hippie parents, a step sister who replied, “I know,” when I told her, and a brother who had a lesbian roommate for the past umpteen years.  Plus I live in Gaytown, USA, which always helps.  I did have one friend who dumped me after knowing I was gay for ten years.  Born again?  Born as Rosemary’s baby, I say.  It broke my heart and I can no longer say her name without sounding like Seinfeld talking about Newman.

Enough about me.  Let’s make a little present for my reader, who gave me such a great gift this morning.  Tell us your coming out stories.  I want to hear the good and the bad.  And if you are a gay parent, I’d love to hear about how your parents reacted when they became grandparents.  I’d also love to hear,  from those of you whose parents had a hard time with the news at first– you know, them trying to turn you not-gay, etc — how did they change over time?

Oooh!  I can’t wait to hear your stories.

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Dear Aunt Flo,

I haven’t seen you in over a year.  No offense, dear, but I have truly enjoyed our time apart.  Don’t get me wrong.  Without you, my family would not be whole.  My entire life of your visits has made it possible for my newest family member to enjoy a nice cushy nine months in my womb. Thanks.  Thanks so much. That said, I think your work here is done.  Good job.  Now don’t come back.

I’m sorry.  That was so rude and no way to talk to a relative.  What I mean to say is, I’ve been getting the feeling that you are packing your bags and heading to my apartment again.  This girl knows fertile cervical mucus when she sees it.  And these are no implantation cramps.  It really is a bad time, dear.  The apartment is a mess and with the two boys, nobody’s getting much sleep around here.  Plus I’m breastfeeding and I know that makes you skittish.  I don’t think you’d be very comfortable, honestly.  Here.  I’ve dug deep and bought you a ticket to Tahiti.  A one-way ticket.  Enjoy yourself.  Be comfortable.  Take your sweet time.

Don’t wish you were here,

oneofhismoms

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Babywearing 101*

Let’s begin this lesson with the fact that I am not an expert.  I’m just a lady who has worn a few slings in my day.

Also, it must be noted that I do not wear my baby all day.  Those who are strong enough to do so were probably professional wrestlers or trapeze artists before they got knocked up. Weight lifters?  Yogis?  Babies are heavy, man.  Especially sleeping ones.  Especially my sleeping one whose nickname might just change from Trucker to Truck someday soon. ( An incredibly cute Truck, mind you.  But a Truck nonetheless.)

When Cakie was a wee babe of fiveish pounds, a friend gave us a whole pile of slings.  I had envisioned carrying him around in our Baby Bjorn, but the baby needed to be at least eight pounds for that.

My favorite sling when he was fiveish pounds was one that was basically a big pocket or a handbag you could just drop baby into and go, much like this one, the New Native.  It was easy to put on, the baby seemed very comfortable, and it almost looked as though he was in the womb, which was great fun for this non-bio mom.  Until he put on three or four more pounds.  Do you have a bike messenger-type bag?  Fill it with concrete and sling it over your shoulder.  Then walk around Prospect Park.  Then go to your chiropractor.  That’s what it felt like when he got a little bigger.

So we moved on the the Baby Bjorn.  You see lots of folks with this one.  It is arguably the most main-stream baby wearing device on the market.  Probably because it is pretty darn easy to use.  It also looks a little more like a briefcase than a hippy-dippy shawl, so maybe more people feel comfortable strapping one on, so to speak.  Hard-core baby wearing zealots (nope, not me) do not love the Bjorn because the baby is basically held away from your body.  The point of baby-wearing for those who think of it as a philosophy, is that the baby feels closer to you, returning to the womb-like state he had when in, well, the womb.  Thus enabling the baby and the wearer to bond.  The Bjorn is more like a carrying device, than a bonding tool.  Though I beg to differ a little bit.  It is much more bond-y than a stroller.  AND when the person wearing it starts to ache from the inevitable pain the the back the carrying device causes, he or she will seek out alternate, more crunchy granola baby wearing possibilities, and thus bond more later on.  Or throw the kid in the stroller.  I don’t love the Bjorn because it maybe has just a few weeks of wearable time before it starts to hurt your back like crazy.  That said, it does have a way to wear the baby facing out, which most other slings and wraps lack.  And the babies, they love to face out.

We took a babywearing class at a local baby store and ended up purchasing a ring sling.  These also seem to be pretty popular with the more crunchy baby-wearing crowd.  I was down with it.  Prepared.  Ready to take on the sling world with my ring sling.  Then I tried to put it on.  There was a video.  I remember watching certain parts of it seven to ten times.  And I didn’t even have mommy brain back then, one of the many advantages to being the non-bio co-mom, BTW.  I think I figured it out and used it a few times, but I honestly could not remember how it worked. It also hurt my back a lot. I think it is still in the closet.  That said, several of my friends did manage to figure it out and used it even when their babes got pretty big.  So I guess they are just smarter than I am.  Because when Lo asked me to help her put hers on, I think I just laughed weakly and asked her if she had the video.

Moving on… the best babywearing money we spent hands down, was spent on the Ergo carrier.  It is the only baby wearing contraption that does not hurt my back.  We were able to carry Cakie in it well into his second year of life.  That said, Trucker seems to be an in Ergo no-babies-land right now.  They have an infant insert…aka, blanket, that is supposed to make it work for little babies.  Let me tell you this, it does work.  But it is awkward.  It just is.  And it does hurt my back because all of the baby’s weight is on one side.  Trucker is a little too big for the insert.  But he’s a little too small to not use it.  Once he’s big enough, this will be my carrier of choice.  If you are pregnant, register for it.  For reals, girls.  It rocks.

My other favorite, the one I’m wearing right now, is the Moby Wrap.  Or as some people call it: the-one-that-is-really-just-a-really-long-piece-of-cloth.  Yeah, that one. It doesn’t have any hooks or rings or clasps or webbing.  It is just a big piece of cloth.  That makes it very comfortable.  It also has that same womb-like effect.  It feels very secure, if tied right.  It also immediately puts my baby to sleep, which is great when he’s cranky and doesn’t want to be put down.  You can both not put him down, and make him feel less cranky and, ahem,  post to your blog.  The drawback to the Moby is that it is a really long piece of cloth.  It is really, really long.  So it is best put on in your home where you know the floors are clean, or at least the dirt on the floors is your dirt.  It is a little time-consuming to wrap onto yourself.  So if the baby is screaming bloody murder, you’ll have to listen to the howls a few more seconds than easier-to-adorn slings or carriers.  Once I put the wrap on, I just leave it on, even if I take the baby out.  Then it looks like I’m wearing a strange scarf-type shirt.  It is on the boarder between looking cool and looking weird, which kind of sums me up anyway. But at least I don’t have to wrap it around myself again!  Trucker’s also a little bit in Moby limbo.  He was fine for the wraps in which he had to froggy up his legs.  But now he doesn’t like to froggy up so much, but he also is not as fond of the non-froggying wraps.  Sigh.  Everything is an adjustment, I suppose.  Oh, and the Moby is way cheaper than a lot of other wraps and slings.  Proabably because it is just a long piece of, well, you know.

I’ll leave you with one more thought,  you will see, if you look for wraps and slings, some pretty gorgeous slings made of some lovely dry clean only fabrics.  Unless your kid’s name is Apple, or Shiloh, or Denim (do you see where I’m headed?) don’t buy them.  Kids puke, yo.  You need to be able to toss that thing in the washer.

Do you have a sling or wrap not mentioned here that people should know about?  Do tell.

*This post is deidicated to my friends and readers, S and MER, whose backs are starting to hurt.

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Filed under baby gear, Trucker

On Having Your Last Child

Unless we win the lottery, Trucker is our last baby.  At least according to my honey.

It is weird to look at your last baby and know it is your last baby.  As soon as his first tooth comes in, we will have seen his last toothless grin — barring any unforseen mouth trauma or ice hockey careers.

I’m still getting over my only birth being my last one.  Even though it was near perfect, there are so many things I’d like to do differently.  I want to have a home birth.  I want to have a third adult with me from the get-go.  Things like that.

Back to my last baby.  I thought I’d tried to savor every baby moment when Cakie was a wee one.  This is a little crazy.  When Trucker turned one month old, I thought, “I’ll never have a newborn less-than-one-month-old lump again!”

Now that we finally set up Trucker’s crib in Cakie’s room, I think, “I’ll never have a newborn in the co-sleeper again.”  Which is totally not true, since Truck starts the night in Cakie’s room and spends the rest of the night in the co-sleeper.  But still.

When he grows out of an article of clothing, I can only think… well, you know.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m happy to get these huge bins of clothes out of my closets.  And I’m happy that my boy is growing like a weed.

I’m just trying to be in the moment.  I need to try to not be nostalgic for the moments that just happened, lest I miss the one that’s happening now.  Like, I’m writing my blog with a sleeping nine-week-old strapped to my belly.  My back hurts a bit from his fifteen pound heft. His head is on my shoulder and he’s making those little sleep sucking motions with his lips and kind of frowning in-between.  His belly is warm on my belly. His hair is sticking up a little in the back.  We can feel each other breathe.

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Filed under family, Labor & Birth, my second son

I Know You’re Bookish…

So why not stop by my other blog and enter to win a free parenting book?  I don’t know if the book is hetero-centric or not.   I do know that a bunch of you are already or soon-to-be or hoping-to-be-soon-to-be parents.  You just need to write in a comment about the best parenting advice you’ve ever received.  I don’t think you need to already be a parent to do that.  While you’re there, read some posts by me and my buds.  Not a lot of folks have entered, so your chances to win are unusually high.  Enter to win before 6 pm tonight. Winning stuff is fun.  Good luck, chicas!

Congrats to babypants on their BF(ghostly but very very real)P!  Woooo Hoooey!

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