It is indeed a slippery slope into insanity when one stays home with a baby and a stack of baby books.
Have I mentioned breastfeeding lately? As far as my blog is concerned, b00bs are the new uterus. My obsession has moved up my body a ways. How could it not? From the second a baby is born, the parents become maniacally obsessed with feeding it. That and getting it to stop crying. Which often involves feeding it. At least if you are a one-trick pony bio-b00by mom like yours truly.
First off, Trucker really is built like a truck. He’s obviously getting enough nourishment from my food tubes. I don’t need a doctor’s scale. His leg rolls, aka pulkies, and arm rolls and elbow dimples are enough proof for me. And yet… I still find ways to worry about this business. For example, I’ve been feeding him about every two hours. But my baby books say he should be eating around every three hours. If he’s not, maybe he has an improper latch. Be wary! He may become a “snacker.” Maybe he’s not getting enough fatty hind milk. (Did I mention the pulkies?) I’ve been feeding him one b00b for about ten minutes, then the other side on the advice of my beloved lactation consultant. But part of me feels like I should have him stay on one side until he’s done, then just offer him the other side for dessert. I fancy the idea that the two sides are different flavors. Maybe one side is creme broulee and the other is brioche. The next day one side is chocolate and the other, vanilla.
Bottom line… I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing. I feel like this is the status quo of parenthood. Prepare yourselves oh ttc and pregnant friends.
I’ve also been thinking about my last bo0bie post in which I got mad at my doctor and certain reality TV shows. I think I was a little harsh and it seems like I was saying the supplementing at all is a bad choice. That’s not true. Nobody wants to starve their baby. Many lactation consultants actually suggest supplementing, but they do it in a way that does not harm the mother’s milk supply in the long run. Sometimes a person needs to give a little formula just to get a night’s sleep. I think well-used supplementation is fine. I also know that many folks choose not to breastfeed exclusively. Some just can’t make it work.
It is hard to explain just how hard breastfeeding can be. Especially if things don’t go right. If your baby doesn’t gain weight or if you can’t seem to produce enough milk. It is hard physically and emotionally. Sometimes folks have to make a decision about continuing to try. Another truth about parenting is that it just doesn’t go the way you envision it all the time. Case in point, I am about to bake my son a Diego cake. Did I envision myself as the kind of mom who would be making her son a TV-related birthday cake? No. Will I do it? Of course. This is the first year he can request what he wants for his birthday and this is what he wants. Boy am I off topic. What I mean to say, is if you have to use formula, even if it wasn’t what you imagined for yourself, you may just have to do it. And that’s ok.
This was rambling. I have just been thinking about my own and some invisible friends’ struggle with the b00b food. And I want to support them. And I want to stop feeling like a wack-a-doo myself. When do I get to feel calm about this? Anyone?