Slippery Slope

It is indeed a slippery slope into insanity when one stays home with a baby and a stack of baby books.

Have I mentioned breastfeeding lately? As far as my blog is concerned, b00bs are the new uterus. My obsession has moved up my body a ways. How could it not? From the second a baby is born, the parents become maniacally obsessed with feeding it. That and getting it to stop crying. Which often involves feeding it. At least if you are a one-trick pony bio-b00by mom like yours truly.

First off, Trucker really is built like a truck. He’s obviously getting enough nourishment from my food tubes. I don’t need a doctor’s scale. His leg rolls, aka pulkies, and arm rolls and elbow dimples are enough proof for me. And yet… I still find ways to worry about this business. For example, I’ve been feeding him about every two hours. But my baby books say he should be eating around every three hours. If he’s not, maybe he has an improper latch. Be wary! He may become a “snacker.” Maybe he’s not getting enough fatty hind milk. (Did I mention the pulkies?) I’ve been feeding him one b00b for about ten minutes, then the other side on the advice of my beloved lactation consultant. But part of me feels like I should have him stay on one side until he’s done, then just offer him the other side for dessert. I fancy the idea that the two sides are different flavors. Maybe one side is creme broulee and the other is brioche. The next day one side is chocolate and the other, vanilla.

Bottom line… I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing. I feel like this is the status quo of parenthood. Prepare yourselves oh ttc and pregnant friends.

I’ve also been thinking about my last bo0bie post in which I got mad at my doctor and certain reality TV shows. I think I was a little harsh and it seems like I was saying the supplementing at all is a bad choice. That’s not true. Nobody wants to starve their baby. Many lactation consultants actually suggest supplementing, but they do it in a way that does not harm the mother’s milk supply in the long run. Sometimes a person needs to give a little formula just to get a night’s sleep. I think well-used supplementation is fine. I also know that many folks choose not to breastfeed exclusively. Some just can’t make it work.

It is hard to explain just how hard breastfeeding can be. Especially if things don’t go right. If your baby doesn’t gain weight or if you can’t seem to produce enough milk. It is hard physically and emotionally. Sometimes folks have to make a decision about continuing to try. Another truth about parenting is that it just doesn’t go the way you envision it all the time. Case in point, I am about to bake my son a Diego cake. Did I envision myself as the kind of mom who would be making her son a TV-related birthday cake? No. Will I do it? Of course. This is the first year he can request what he wants for his birthday and this is what he wants. Boy am I off topic. What I mean to say, is if you have to use formula, even if it wasn’t what you imagined for yourself, you may just have to do it. And that’s ok.

This was rambling. I have just been thinking about my own and some invisible friends’ struggle with the b00b food. And I want to support them. And I want to stop feeling like a wack-a-doo myself. When do I get to feel calm about this? Anyone?



Filed under b00b food

7 responses to “Slippery Slope

  1. talk about best-laid plans..boy was S. excited to be the one to nourish and sustain Theo for a while–all by just using her boobs! then alas, the milk supply issue rears its ugly head. so as my neighbor decided to tell us last week as Theo was screaming his head off, “parenting does not come with an instruction manual.” and no, all those books we obsess over do not count!!

  2. joanna in san francisco

    I have always heard that you can give one boob until they are done or you have tapped that one out and then offer the other. Then next time start with the one you didn’t start with the last time. Your instincts are good! Regardless of how you do it, it sounds like he’s doing great!

    Joanna in San Francisco
    Lactation Peer Educator, Student Nurse Midwife, Lesbian that wants kids someday

  3. sn

    have i mentioned that your blog always seems to capture what’s going on in my life?

    1) i totally feel like a one trick pony boob mama. thankfully our little one also has Comfort Mama, who is awesome at what she does. 2) i can’t wait to feel calm about the whole breast feeding thing either–despite the obvious rolls of chub that seem to be objective proof that something’s working. 3) the “snacker” fear…that book is just evil, unsupportive of breast feeding and anxiety provoking. 4) all the other breastfeeding books i’ve now obsessively taken out of the nypl just don’t help.

    sigh. at least the rolls of chub are reassuring (and delicious).

  4. alli k

    I never thought I would say this about you, but I think you may be reading too much. Lay off the baby books. Read some good fiction.

  5. dude, i’m in the same boat. but jude is a trucker in her own right, and that is enough to know that all is well. i’m not following anyone’s advice, really. i let her tap out dinner or dessert b.oob (left and right, respectively), and start the next meal on the other one.

    my supply is obviously fine, since i routinely pump anywhere from 4-10 oz in one go.

    i try to pretend i’m a mama who has no breastfeeding books. it helps. it clears the air enough for me to trust my instincts.

    meanwhile, i love snacks. and my daughter loves them too. all is well.

    i agree about jude and trucker’s connection btw. they must meet someday.

  6. erin

    *sigh* I’m one of those couldn’t-wait-to-breastfeed momazons who is now struggling with supply issues and a skinny baby. I envy the pulkies! However, it’s good to know that even moms that don’t have low milk supply and have fat little babies worry about the breastfeeding. For the record, I second the suggestion to put down the baby books and to get some good fiction. If he’s chubby, happy, and not having digestion issues, I say keep on keepin on!

  7. Lo

    Boobs are the new uterus. Ha.
    I don’t remember exactly when the calm hit, re: breastfeeding, but it *definitely* did. Take heart.

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