When Am I Going to Pop?

Good question, Eggdrop.

Everyday my good friend, nethermede, calls me. She doesn’t say hello. She just yells, “STILL PREGNANT?”

Everyday my mom calls. She doesn’t say hello either. She says, “Soooooo, how are yooooou?

Did you ever have PMS for three weeks straight? Because that is what the last month of pregnancy is turning out to be like. Luckily I’m not bitchy. But every night for the last three nights I’ve had such bad cramps and backaches. I just keep hoping they are being productive. If you want to give me pain, that’s fine. But it better be earning its keep, is all I’m saying. I had an episode last week that I thought was a contraction. (Apparently according to my midwife, when one has a contraction, you don’t think it might be one, you know, much like an orgasm.) So anyway, it sure felt like a contraction to me. I was driving and I couldn’t focus. I had to breathe differently, etc. At my midwife appointment, I was no more effaced or dilated. I’m just begging you, universe: go ahead and give me the pain, but make it productive. No sloppy, useless pain, please.

Then today I had a very PMS moment. My honey, my big boy and I went to the New York Aquarium for some family time. We went to see the seals perform. They started blasting that song from “Bring It On,” you know, the spirit fingers one? Y’all Ready for This? And everyone was clapping and the trainer was getting the seal to clap and my son was not very interested. I just burst into tears. I couldn’t stop myself. I was all choked up that this might be one of the last times that my family will be together just the three of us. I could not stop crying. My poor honey thought I was going into labor.

I can sort of see why some folks might pine to be induced at this point. It just makes you feel a little crazy. I mean, I think there is a real reason why PMS only lasts about a week. There is a limit to how much a human can take. And it is hard to make any plans when you know you might be radically changing your life anytime in the next 24 hours – two weeks. You know? Do I want to go swimming on Thursday? Hells yeah, if I don’t have a newborn and stitches in my whoo haaa. Do I want to go see Beth Orton in the park on Saturday? Yup. But I’d rather have this birth thing over-with by then, thanks.

Who can answer Eggdrop’s question? Who, besides Trucker, knows? Take a shot at it. If you guess correctly, I will write you a post on any topic you request.



Filed under Third Trimester!?!

15 responses to “When Am I Going to Pop?

  1. Well, what day should we pick? I’ve always been quite the planner – so why not now? I’d say July 8th, 10th, or 12th. Does that work for you?

  2. dude. i was right where you are the weekend before sparky came out. i hope trucker does his trucking soon!!!!


  3. CD&SP… I don’t know if three guesses can count! Though I like how you picked every day except the due date. Which one of those dates will you guys be giving birth on, BTW???

    Oh Chicken… Should I be playing the Grateful Dead? 🙂 And does that mean he’s coming sometime this week??? Say yes.

  4. Heather

    I pick the 13th! Sorry – it wasn’t sooner 😦

  5. reproducinggenius

    I’m going to say the 11th.

  6. sn

    m. says 6/9 and i say 6/8. i had hmm-was-that-a-contraction thingees for a week or so before i popped. the real thing hurts a helluva lot more, and they keep coming back.

    but don’t get discouraged–at my last midwife appointment, my cervix was totally closed, despite the sporadic wimpy contractions. i scheduled a follow up in the week after i was due, as well as a biophysical profile to check on my post-dates bug. all of that was totally discouraging, but ultimately meant nothing. contractions started at 2 am on my due date, and she came busting out 24 hours later. (oh, and they slowed down a lot in the middle of the day, which is when i commented on your blog!)

  7. nethermeade

    Yes, I yell it. I yell it ‘cuz I don’t wanna miss it! I am so flipping excited. I mean, you have only wanna be pregnant since the first day I met ye. And the thought of missing the finale? Hells naw! I gots to know!

    And since I’m now back from out of town, and almost finished with the work project that’s been plaguing me for a week, I’m gonna guess you pop this Tuesday, 7/8, cuz it’s the last two numbers in the Laverne & Shirley intro, the year my folks got hitched, and I’m now free for Cakie duty & newborn pics at the birthing center.


  8. starrhillgirl

    This is a total neck and neck race between you and my rl friend who sent me to her RE (she’s been walking around 50% effaced for 2 weeks). I’ll say…….. Thursday, July 17, because that *should* be my next insem and then we’d be doing opposite things with our hoohas on the same day! Like twins, only not.

    Wow, I hope you are at Beth Orton right now.

  9. Okay, I hope my question didn’t come off as too obnoxious, but I am excited for you, girlie! The two week PMS doesn’t sound like much fun, though. I’m sure it’s stressful. If I have to guess, I’ll pick next Saturday, July 12th–but I hope it’s sooner. xo

  10. starrhillgirl

    Ok, I totally meant THIS Thursday – the 10th. Crap.

  11. ED– obviously it was a good question. Inquiring minds want to know.

    shg– I’d much prefer 7/10 to 7/17! Whew.

    sn — Nobody got you one of those pink headband-with-a-bow dealies, did they? That’s a crime.

    Trucker — While brushing my teeth I had a vision of myself at my retirement party… still pregnant. I know you wouldn’t do that to your mommy, right? Just because I’ve been saying all along that I was sure you’d come early? I was just kidding. It was a joke, kid. No come on out. Your brother is bored. He wants a playmate.

  12. i’m going to say 7/7.

    which is today. but since you haven’t blogged yet, i think it’s safe.

  13. Co

    I say 7/11 — because I grew up in NJ.

  14. Co- LOL!

    My mom wanted 7/11 because she said they were both lucky numbers. I was like, but… it’s a convenience store.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s