I saw my midwife again yesterday. This time my honey came, which is good because my honey remembers stuff and I don’t. I asked her about perenial massage. She said that they usually don’t suggest it. They prefer that I be very conscious, while doing kegels and pelvic floor stuff of how I release, not just contract. That way, when I need to release, I’ll be aware of what I’m doing. That’s all good, because perenial massage sounds like about the kind of massage I would least like to have, frankly.
She did an internal exam and said, “You are about 75% effaced (!) and your cervix is still closed…no, wait, my finger just slipped in!” So I’m a teeny weeny bit dilated. Less than a cm. Then she had some blood on her finger and said, “No, that’s not your bloody show. It is from my finger.” But when I got home, it sure looked like a bloody show to me. She’s the professional, so I’ll take her word for it. Then she smiled and said, “You look favorable. Everything looks good.” And I’ve hung on that word, favorable ever since.
I still feel calm and ready. I still want to see that damn movie. I think, as I have thought for some time, that he might actually come a little early.