Help me out, people.
As you know, my need to spend time in the bathroom has increased exponentially in the last few weeks. I don’t think that that should also include the necessity to read bad “poetry.” In several of the teachers’ bathrooms I frequent at school during the day, I am forced to read the following:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Please be neat and wipe the seat.
If you are in a rush,
Please don’t forget to flush.
With a SMILE. 🙂
Ugh. It makes me want to pee all over the stall, frankly.
The “With a SMILE 🙂 ” part particularly makes my skin crawl.
So I thought I’d do a little poetry exchange/vandalism.
I need you people to write something better. I appreciate the sentiment, which is partly why I have yet to tear the annoying things down. But I fear that they will be replaced with the same, if not more grating verse. So help me out.
Write a new poem. It should be something a pregnant gal wouldn’t mind reading and re-reading some six times a day. Try to include the same message in a less condescending, nails-screeeching-on-a-blackboard manner. Try to write something to which the other teachers will say as they relieve themselves, “Oh thank god I have a moment of peace the isn’t interrupted by rhyming couplets, ALL CAPS and smiley faces.”
The winner will be published anonymously in several teachers’ bathrooms in a public school in Brooklyn. The winning poet will also have for a prize my eternal gratitude. Umm, and I’ll throw in some fresh-baked virtual brownies.
Write. Write like the wind.