My Other Wife

I went to the midwife yesterday. I took my mom with me, so she could hear her grandson’s heartbeat. Everything looks good. I’ve gained 16 lbs so far. Not too bad, I guess. My favorite part of the appointment was when she said, after squeezing me quite hard down by my bikini line, that he seems to be head-down for the time being. I know I’m only 28 weeks along, but this is good news. Though part of me thinks she maybe made that up, so I would be happy and have positive visualization. I choose to be happy and visualize his little head poised above my pelvis, ready for action. Of course he could turn around, if he so pleased. But I’m hoping he’s comfortable where he is.

Here’s my 28-week belly. I’m turned a little to the side, so he actually sticks out more than you can see here:

I’m still coughing after a week and a half of being sick. However, my brilliant midwife told me which drugs I could take. And I took them. And I was able to get a little bit of sleep. A little bit of sleep goes a long way.

AND I asked her if I should go to my doctor, since I’m still coughing and my throat still hurts. Instead, she took a throat culture. So I don’t have to go to the doctor. Hopefully, the culture will come back negative, and I won’t need to take any antibiotics, either.

I complained to her of my most-uncomfortable-pregnancy-symptom-to-date. Did you ever have that baby doll with the hole in its mouth and the hole between its legs? You feed the baby doll some water in a baby doll bottle, and it pees the water right out the other hole? Well, that’s me. I mean, if I drink three teaspoons of liquid, I need to run to the bathroom and pee three teaspoons of liquid. If I’m not near a bathroom, I just have to pee. But I have this cough. When I cough, or laugh, or jostle myself in any way, little bits of liquid manage to find their way out. So despite some initial resistance, I bought some damn panty liners. So my midwife said, “Oh, you know lightdays panty liners? That’s what they’re really for. You should start doing kegels.” Start???? So I told her about my world’s strongest pelvic floor. I do wonder what the competition for that would look like. She replied, “Even with the world’s strongest pelvic floor, you’ve basically got a bowling ball sitting on top of your bladder. It is a good thing you’ve been doing your exercises, or you wouldprobably be peeing all over yourself.” Ok. I’m glad I’m not peeing all over myself.

Take a quick peek at this note about my first wife, who RULES.

Sorry, but I need to go to the bathroom. Later.



Filed under Third Trimester!?!

8 responses to “My Other Wife

  1. love the title of this entry. so you are a polygamist breeder?

    lightdays sisters unite!

    oh, and, you may have the strongest pelvic floor in the north, but i rule the south. i guess the competition would be to let our baby-kicking bellies go belly to belly and wrestle, as you mentioned previously…

  2. pee ess, the belly is looking fab!

  3. love the belly shot!
    and I definitely hear you on the peeing thing. as Lois can vouch…your “direct from mouth to out the other thing” probably won’t get better after the baby comes out! LOL – sorry šŸ˜‰

  4. That belly just keeps getting prettier! I just love it. You must have a very happy boy in there.

    Sorry for the wee.

  5. nelly

    we LOVE the belly shots! and can i just say, you’re totally pregnant now…for reals!

  6. Co

    i think every pg woman has the cough…oopsie thing. i did. the doll analogy is smart.

    post-birth, i haven’t had much trouble and i’m bad about doing kegels. so there is hope.

    great belly shot,

  7. sn

    my wiggle monster fetus must be living on the upper level more–less bladder drama, and more suffocation because i just can’t expand my lungs…

    i hope your cough goes away soon–what is it with pregnancy colds that just won’t go away?

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