That means too much information. Overshare. I really didn’t need to know that much about you, etc. So if body fluids give you the heebeegeebees, please press the back arrow on your browser now. You won’t like this post much.
Sooooo… I was doing the thing. You know, with the washcloth? The one where you rub your nipple with a washcloth in the shower for a few months before you give birth, so they get all butch and calloused and breastfeeding won’t hurt. It turns out my wise friends and my midwife told me later that that doesn’t really work. Nothing hurts like breastfeeding. But it only hurts for a while, then it doesn’t hurt.
So my nipples hurt. Because I hurt them. I was looking at them because they hurt. Then the weirdest, most natural but weirdest, thing happened. Milk came out. Freakin’ milk. Out of my mosquito bite b00bies! It was so unexpected, I actually felt faint. I got dizzy and had to look away.
And now they leak. That’s all. I just had to share because it is the weirdest thing to happen to me in my pregnancy thus far. My honey handed me a package of breast pads and said, “Get used to it.” But, you know, nicely.
In other body fluid news… or I should say solids? My baby went poopie in the potty! “I went poopie in the potty.” Those six words are more beautiful and thrilling than I ever imagined. Way better than, “I love you,” even. When I got home from my midwife appointment on Monday, A told Cake to tell me his news. He said those six beautiful words. I laughed and hugged and did a poopie in the potty dance. And he giggled and giggled and giggled his head off. It was the best poop-related thing that has ever happened to me.
Then yesterday, he did it again. I hope he doesn’t grow up and read this someday and get really mad at me for talking about his poop. I just… I’m so proud. And the only place I can voice it is in a virtual room full of moms and moms-to-be. Besides, I’m leaving out details, so be grateful, Kid.