Ok, this big-ass belly is not really part of me.
I mean. It is weird.
Strangers know that I’m pregnant. They ask me the due date. They ask me his name. Yeah, lady in the cafe in Philly where I’m eating a criossant before a funeral, I’m going to tell you his name and not tell my best friend.
The belly is weird. I mean. It is what I’ve wanted forever. But it is weird. OK. People who have this sensation often are going to get annoyed at me. I’m not used to having folds. I’m a very lanky girl. This belly folds up right under my bosoms. Then there is this part of my body that’s all.. touching itself and getting sweaty. It is sweaty and foldy. And it kinda hurts.
Oh, and I waddle. And I’ve become very clumsy. I tried to eat an orange in the teachers’ lounge the other day? Look out! Orange slice bombs! They were flying all over the place. We went to a restaurant with Cakie in Boston and in an effort to stop him from grabbing a knife, I totally knocked over a huge glass of water. While we were wiping up the water (and people nearby were looking to Cake as the origin of said spill) Cake managed to spill his juice all over himself. Let’s just say we used our share of napkins.
On a bright note, my back is feeling better. I stopped wearing my clogs or carrying any kind of “bag” school bag, purse or other. I don’t know if that’s why my back is feeling better, or if it is just feeling better because the baby has moved away from my nerve. I am superstitious, however, and will not put on the clogs again until after I give birth.
Aside from the foldiness, I do feel very much like my normal self.
I am getting more attention than usual and I’m a little afraid I’ll get too used to it. The other day, I got to school and a fifth-grade teacher said, “I noticed that you have a book order box sitting here. I’ll get a fifth-grader to carry it upstairs for you.” Hmmm. She did it, too. I could totally grow accustomed to this. And people keep driving me (the six blocks) home from work. It is a little odd being judged/worried about by people who have different beliefs than myself. For example, one of my co-workers told me never to raise my arms above my head. I told her that I and thousands of other pregnant women regularly raise our arms above our heads in prenatal yoga classes all over the world. I think I nearly gave an older substitute a heart attack today as she watched me dance around during my students’ movement class after lunch. My doctor and yoga teacher both said dance is the perfect exercise for pregnant women. Plus, it is funny to watch one’s pregnant teacher boogy down, and I have to keep the kiddies entertained, do I not?
I admit to looking forward to making people uncomfortable about not offering me a seat on the subway.
I think I need to go baby powder my fold now. Weird.