My Second Trimester Body aka Alien Posesssion

Ok, this big-ass belly is not really part of me.

I mean.  It is weird.

Strangers know that I’m pregnant.  They ask me the due date.  They ask me his name.  Yeah, lady in the cafe in Philly where I’m eating a criossant before a funeral, I’m going to tell you his name and not tell my best friend.

The belly is weird.  I mean.  It is what I’ve wanted forever.  But it is weird.  OK.  People who have this sensation often are going to get annoyed at me.  I’m not used to having folds.  I’m a very lanky girl.  This belly folds up right under my bosoms.  Then there is this part of my body that’s all.. touching itself and getting sweaty.   It is sweaty and foldy.  And it kinda hurts.

Oh, and I waddle.  And I’ve become very clumsy.  I tried to eat an orange in the teachers’ lounge the other day?  Look out!  Orange slice bombs!  They were flying all over the place.  We went to a restaurant with Cakie in Boston and in an effort to stop him from grabbing a knife, I totally knocked over a huge glass of water.  While we were wiping up the water (and people nearby were looking to Cake as the origin of said spill) Cake managed to spill his juice all over himself.  Let’s just say we used our share of napkins.

On a bright note, my back is feeling better.  I stopped wearing my clogs or carrying any kind of “bag” school bag, purse or other.  I don’t know if that’s why my back is feeling better, or if it is just feeling better because the baby has moved away from my nerve. I am superstitious, however, and will not put on the clogs again until after I give birth.

Aside from the foldiness, I do feel very much like my normal self.

I am getting more attention than usual and I’m a little afraid I’ll get too used to it. The other day, I got to school and a fifth-grade teacher said,  “I noticed that you have a book order box sitting here.  I’ll get a fifth-grader to carry it upstairs for you.”  Hmmm.  She did it, too.  I could totally grow accustomed to this.  And people keep driving me (the six blocks) home from work.  It is a little odd being judged/worried about by people who have different beliefs than myself.  For example, one of my co-workers told me never to raise my arms above my head.  I told her that I and thousands of other pregnant women regularly raise our arms above our heads in prenatal yoga classes all over the world.  I think I nearly gave an older substitute a heart attack today as she watched me dance around during my students’ movement class after lunch.  My doctor and yoga teacher both said dance is the perfect exercise for pregnant women.  Plus, it is funny to watch one’s pregnant teacher boogy down, and I have to keep the kiddies entertained, do I not?

I admit to looking forward to making people uncomfortable about not offering me a seat on the subway.

I think I need to go baby powder my fold now.  Weird.



Filed under Second Trimester

7 responses to “My Second Trimester Body aka Alien Posesssion

  1. erin

    I gave my clogs to my partner when I realized they were causing my back to ache while pregnant. And I was tripping and twisting my ankles regularly. I’m a not-so-coordinated pregnant lady. I got some flat, wide shoes. They aren’t sexy, but I don’t think pregnancy is sexy in the least, so there you go!

    When my partner was 6 months pregnant with our first we took a trip to Hawaii. I remember how ticked off I got when people on the airport shuttle bus wouldn’t offer their seat to her. She was pretty small, but I thought obviously pregnant. Wield that belly with pregnant pride and guilt your way into those subway seats 🙂

  2. nelly

    i want a belly shot NOW!

  3. That’s so funny, I just went out yesterday and bought some cheap, boring, comfy flatish black shoes.

    I was going to place the blame for my lack of belly shot on A, but it is not entirely her fault, since I don’t know where our camera is exactly.

  4. Don’t hold your breath for that subway seat – people are often shamelessly indifferent. I had so-so luck on the F, even when 8 months pregnant. A friend who was 8 months pregnant (with twins) actually fainted whilst standing up on the very crowded A and only one person tried to help. And he was not sitting down either.

    I will cross my fingers for good subway karma for you!!!

  5. mer

    i had my first intrusive unsolicited belly rubbing yesterday–a pregnancy milestone of sorts, i guess. i imagine there’s a really different threshold for new yorkers to give up seats on the subway–hence my super aggressive pursuit of subway seats.

  6. Oh yeah. If they don’t offer, I am prepared to go to the “reserved seating” section and demand. Luckily, I don’t spend much time on the train.

  7. It seems to be a fine line between wishing people would be that accomodating all the time to all people and wanting everyone to keep their opinions shut in their trap.

    I am excided for your fold and so happy for your bump!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s