Not Fessing Up

So I went to a gathering of a bunch of expectant lesbian parents the other night.

It was fun.

This old dog even learned a few new tricks.

I was the only one there who already had a kid at home.  That part was interesting, because when people talked about their issues, they mostly had to do with choosing last names and getting their families to be more accepting.  I enjoyed the conversation.  My head has not been where their heads are in such long time.  I forgot that when you are pregnant with your first child, the actual parenting seems so very far away.

I met some pretty cool women, most of whom are expecting their babies within two or three weeks of Cakie’s little sib.  This is key.  I think making mommy friends sucks. It is akin to being thrown back into junior high school with all of the clicks and awkwardness.  You’re home with a little one all day and no adults around to keep you sane and speak to you in complete sentences.  So you take a music class or you go to the nearest playground, hoping to find a kindred spirit with something in common with you besides your leaky breasts.  My best mommy friends were and still are the ones I met in childbirth class (and my neighbor). So would it hurt to meet some gay pregnant women now?  Nope.  Does it mean they will be my best friend just because they are gay and pregnant? No.  But I’m happy they exist and I’m looking forward to spending more time with them.

So here’s the funny part: at one point in the night, someone started talking about a blog she reads.  Two of the others  chimed in, “oneofhismoms?”  What the?  I was invited by someone who reads my blog, but I don’t think these guys knew at that point that I write this blog.  I didn’t fess up.  It was an odd and slightly pleasing feeling to see some people who read my blog, yet they didn’t know at that point, I think, that the writer of the blog was in the room. But maybe they did.  But wouldn’t they have nodded in my direction or something at that point? She wasn’t talking about my blog, so they didn’t go on to discuss it.  Of course I went on to yammer about writing my book and asking for interviews and asking what they thought of the other books out there.  So I’m sure if they read ohm on a regular basis, they probably figured it out.  For a few seconds there I felt like a secret agent or a movie star incognito.  I never fessed up. I don’t know why. So here it is: “Oh, hey, I write that blog.  You read it?  Thanks!  I hope you like it.”



Filed under blogitty blog blog, My Book, NYC What is it about you?, Second Trimester

8 responses to “Not Fessing Up

  1. mer

    I’m a lurker who just met you a few nights ago at the mommies to be group… actually my partner was the one to invite you. Anyway, it’s fun to read your post about the group. Also, I will admit that it did feel a bit like meeting a celebrity (or maybe something about the difference between the person you create in your head and the actual person that is always intriguing). I totally agree with you about the importance of finding other moms (I do wish we all lived closer to each other though). And later on I also think it will be so important for my kid to know other kids who have two moms. As one of the people with family acceptance issues, I really want to ensure that there are people this kid will be close to who not only will see our family as totally normal, but will actually be like our family. Anyway, looking forward to the little group and I really enjoyed meeting you.

  2. Lol – Well, my comment was going to be that “If they read it regularly, they’ll know know! but I guess Mer beat me to it!

  3. Lo

    wow, that’s pretty cool, famous lady.

  4. sn

    heh. you’re totally a celebrity. i was tickled by your smirky smile when the name of your blog came up in the group and you went into secret agent mode (but wasn’t going to out you).

    i want to hear more about the new tricks 🙂

    and does the family acceptance stuff magically go away when the baby comes, or are your families just cooler than mine and mer’s?

  5. claim the fame! i wish i was in your group. finding mommy friends (much less gay moms) is going to be difficult in my one horse town.

    kudos and kisses!

  6. reproducinggenius

    I love these moments in life–I’ve had it happen with acquaintances of former students. It’s so interesting to hear oneself talked about as though one isn’t there, and I think it’s fabulous that you stayed quiet.

  7. I’ll tell you something about family acceptance, SN. I do have a cool family. A’s family was a little more tricky for religious reasons (not all of them) while she was pregnant. I can’t make any promises, but many people, once a squishy little ball of love enters the picture, tend to soften their views. Am I right? Have other people had this experience?

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