Technical Difficulties

Hmmm.  I’m stuck.

I’m stuck on two issues.

Issue number 1:  The term “non-bio lesbian mom” kinda sucks.  Am I right? First of all, who wants to be a “non” anything in regards to parenting?  It is too long.  (Not unlike many other gay or feminist terms.) And it is not– ugh.  It just fits like an itchy sweater.  “Other Mother” has been used.  I like it better.  But since it is already the name of Arlyn Hazley’s book and several blogs, I just don’t know.  Besides, I don’t know that I love being “other” either.  So I’m putting it out there.  Can any of you wise wordsmiths come up with a better word or phrase to call the subject of my book?   I will give you a special thanks and all credit if you can come up with something usable.

Issue number 2: I want to interview lots of great women who don’t live in New York, and I can’t seem to get myself a usable device to record telephone conversations.  My brother bought me a “Quick Tap” and an “Imic” and together they should have worked.  They did not.  Though he thinks it might be the quality of the phone I bought, rather than the devices.  I also went to Radio Hack and plunked down a 100 bucks for another recording device that doesn’t have Mac software and only records one side of the conversation.  Again, that may be my phone.  Do any of you have any suggestions?  Do you own anything that works well?  I want something that will either give me tapes, or files on my computer that I can refer to as I write.

Please let me know.  And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, I am trying to write a book about [insert better word or phrase here] non-bio lesbian moms.  A guide book, I think.  It is such a huge, untapped subject.  I would have bought the book instantly, had it existed when my honey was pregnant.  I know so many of us have issues and feelings and other things that just aren’t addressed anywhere but in the blogosphere.  So if you are interested in being interviewed, once I figure out how to do it, please let me know.

Thanks, folks.



Filed under My Book

18 responses to “Technical Difficulties

  1. not sure about issue 2. however, i work for that fruity company about which you speak, and you may want to speak with a product specialist about it. i can give you a number if you like.

    re: issue 1…we’re going with milk mama (me) and sugar mama (h).

  2. Hmm, you raise some good questions. I will put my thinking cap on about what ‘those’ kind of moms should be called. We should come up with a better name…

  3. I’m leaning toward co-mom myself. I got that from Sarah over in Germany. I like how it gets at the partnership in the relationship as well as the multiplicity of moms.

  4. I like co-mom, but also I think “one of his moms” would be a great title for the book. I completely agree with you about other and non.

  5. Lea

    I kind of like second mom.

    “one of his moms” is a great blog name and like l.mclhibbertian said, it would be a great title for your book!

  6. Lo

    ooh I third the “one of his moms” nomination.

    In terms of the phone thing — this might be way. too. easy. — but the cheapo phone recording device that I have might work on old-fashioned non-cordless phones. We have such a phone (I bought it at Rite Aid after the blackout) and I think you can still get them, mad cheap. I will test out my device on mine. (I know it used to work, back when all of the phones were that old-fashioned kind.)

  7. I usually use non-bio mom to describe myself, but I’ll agree that the ‘non’ part of it feels a little icky. I’ll vote for the “One of His Moms” idea as well, and suggest that you cover the many ways we identify ourselves in the foreward. That way you’ll be able to preview the term that you’ve chosen…

  8. Being Mommy Two or I’m Mommy Two – just some kind of play on too/two.

  9. Thanks, everybody! I never thought of “One of His Moms” for the title. I was thinking “I’m the Mom, Too” and then some wordy subtitle describing the book as a guide for co-moms. I like co-mom, too.

    Lo, if you still have the recording device can I borrow it? And Ohchicken, can I have that number?

    Muchos gracias, mamitas!

  10. it’s 800.myapple (692.7753)
    follow the prompts to place an order, and you’ll get a specialist to help you find what is compatible.

    good luck!

  11. Hello,
    I just got a cell phone the other night from Verizon that actually has a record option and you push the button and it records the whole conversation straight from the earpiece and mouth piece of both parties and saves it in mpeg form I believe – then I can email it to myself.

    The phone is an LG and it’s orange..>I think it’s the ENV model.

    My partner was the “bio-mom” and was the “non-bio” mom of our first child and now for #2 we’ve switched roles. We’ve never really had to explain much our roles to people because she’s so butchy in most cases people assume that I had our first child!

    I live in upstate New York – but if you’re looking for people to interview – I’d be happy to share!

    Best wishes on your new book!

  12. amy

    I think, “One of his moms” is perfect for the title! And you probably don’t have to give much credit for it since it’s yours. I don’t know if we ever left a comment about being interested in being interviewed for the book but my wife is “One of her moms” and would be interested in sharing her perspective if you’re interested in it. she’s in her late 20’s and we live in Atlanta, GA.

  13. And, then, you’ve got situations like ours – we’re doing IVF using Shrike’s eggs and my uterus.

    She’ll be the genetic mother, and I’ll be the gestational mother, but we could both be considered “biological” mothers.

    Just to make it more confusing, you know 🙂

  14. hey there…
    shoot me an email…i have a contact who can help you with the phone interview technical stuff (i am hoping) but i dont want to broadcast her private email here…

    this is cool!!!

  15. erin

    We’re mommy and mama, a decision that was made based on what each of us would rather have yodelled at us in a store or said in excessive succession when the kiddos are older. When prompted, or when I feel like “coming out,” I refer to myself as the non-bio mom, but I am soonish to be the bio-mom of her sibling, so that’ll be interesting. I don’t like the idea of pointing out the “who gave birth to whom” difference to the girls. How will that feel to the them? Will it make them feel like we or anyone else are lessening the importance of their sibling relationship b/c they aren’t full-bio sibs?
    Personally I like non-bio mom because somehow it feels less trivializing than “other” or “second” or even “co-” mom. We feel really equal as parents, so it seems like a non-issue on a day to day basis.

    I also refer to myself as a momazon. I’d buy a book about Momazons 🙂

  16. I’m interested in being a part of your book project; live in Philadelphia, and I too have struggled with what to call myself. My partner is Mommy and right now I’m Mama but who knows if that will change?

  17. I vote for One of his Mom’s as well. My parter and I are both bio and non-bio to our kids. She carried kid #1, I carried kids #2 & #3 (twins). We live in the midwest and don’t mind being interviewed if you are still looking for non-bio moms.

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