Monthly Archives: January 2008

Technical Difficulties

Hmmm.  I’m stuck.

I’m stuck on two issues.

Issue number 1:  The term “non-bio lesbian mom” kinda sucks.  Am I right? First of all, who wants to be a “non” anything in regards to parenting?  It is too long.  (Not unlike many other gay or feminist terms.) And it is not– ugh.  It just fits like an itchy sweater.  “Other Mother” has been used.  I like it better.  But since it is already the name of Arlyn Hazley’s book and several blogs, I just don’t know.  Besides, I don’t know that I love being “other” either.  So I’m putting it out there.  Can any of you wise wordsmiths come up with a better word or phrase to call the subject of my book?   I will give you a special thanks and all credit if you can come up with something usable.

Issue number 2: I want to interview lots of great women who don’t live in New York, and I can’t seem to get myself a usable device to record telephone conversations.  My brother bought me a “Quick Tap” and an “Imic” and together they should have worked.  They did not.  Though he thinks it might be the quality of the phone I bought, rather than the devices.  I also went to Radio Hack and plunked down a 100 bucks for another recording device that doesn’t have Mac software and only records one side of the conversation.  Again, that may be my phone.  Do any of you have any suggestions?  Do you own anything that works well?  I want something that will either give me tapes, or files on my computer that I can refer to as I write.

Please let me know.  And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, I am trying to write a book about [insert better word or phrase here] non-bio lesbian moms.  A guide book, I think.  It is such a huge, untapped subject.  I would have bought the book instantly, had it existed when my honey was pregnant.  I know so many of us have issues and feelings and other things that just aren’t addressed anywhere but in the blogosphere.  So if you are interested in being interviewed, once I figure out how to do it, please let me know.

Thanks, folks.



Filed under My Book

Finally Human. (Both of Us)

Signs that I have morphed from a useless lump back into at least half the woman I used to be:

1. Yesterday I did my son’s laundry.

2. Yesterday I cooked a new and delicious dinner. .. tomato braised beans and polenta.  Yum.

3. Yesterday I organized all of our crazy recipes into a binder.

4. Last night I put the little guy down for the night.  The night before I actually got up once from my bed to put him back to sleep.   Poor A, she’s been doing it all.

4. Today I picked the Cakeman up early from daycare and took him to the playground.

5. Today I painted with my son.

6. Today I drove my whole family on an errand after taking son to playground and painting.

7. Today I made dinner for tonight and tomorrow night.

Reason why the little one is finally human… I mean, she is and has been, especially since the nuchal ultrasound, but humor me:

She kicked!  It started kicking on Thursday and has been gracing me with love taps on and off since then.

I will find out the genital status of the little Pele in 18 days.  But who’s counting?   I still have that boy feeling.  But I’d like it to be a girl if only to save me from having to choose another boy’s name. (And, you know, about a zillion other daughter-longing reasons.)


Filed under Second Trimester

I Told Them

I just decided to tell them today.  A kid I don’t know walked up to me in the hall and asked me if I was having a baby.  So I figured I should tell my kids.  I told them when they were lined up to leave at 3 pm on a Friday.  I just said, “I know you have been wondering about this.  Yes, I am going to have a baby in July.”  They were thrown by the whole July thing.  “Will we have a substitute?”  “You don’t go to school in the July.”  Then I told them that sometimes babies come earlier than expected and they might have a substitute if that happens.  Then they started talking about pre-mature babies and I was home-free.  For the time being, anyway.  Whew.


Filed under Second Trimester

I Don’t Eat Babies


Now that I’m all knocked up and starting to show and whatnot, my kids have been asking me questions.   One asked me yesterday while we were walking down the stairs, “Do you have a baby in your stomach?”  To which I lamely replied, “I don’t eat babies!”

The truth is, I’ve never really come out to a class and I’m nervous about it.  I’ve never come out to them because they are seven, and their parents are all catholic or muslim or something else preachy, and plus I’m just a wimp.  They know I’m not married.  So I think I should tell them that Cake has two mommies and this baby will have two mommies, too.   The whole two mommies thing usually confuses them into silence anyway (I do mention same gender parents every Mother’s and Father’s Day.)  But I’m not so sure that will happen this time.  What if they ask me how two women make a baby?  I was thinking I’d say, “A doctor helped me make the baby.”  This is true, but rather vague. They may think I had sex with some random doctor. But I don’t want to get too detailed, either.  Did I mention that some of my kids’ moms are in burkas?  I could also say, “A doctor and a man called a donor helped me make the baby.”  If they ask about the donor, I can say he fertilized my egg.  They understand eggs getting fertilized.

Ugh.   I wish I wasn’t such a wimp.

Anyway.  What do you think I should say?


Filed under Second Trimester, teaching

Six Things

I don’t do memes very often. They kind of make me happy and I don’t know why. Perhaps it is because it is fun to get tagged. Like, I wasn’t actually the last one picked in gym class this one time. Thanks, Oh Chicken!

The Rules:
1) Link to the person that tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6) Let the fun begin!

1. This week was the first week that a person had a smaller belly than me in my yoga class. She was four weeks further along than myself, but had no belly to show for it. I, on the other hand, was told by my teacher while doing an inversion with my legs up on the wall, “Now that you have a little more weight down there, you might want to put a folded blanket under your lower back in the pose.” !!!

2. I’ve been thinking about getting my hair cut for about a month and a half. Thinking about it every day. Doing nothing, mind you. Just thinking.

3. My cat has woken me up every morning at 4:15 for the past three months. He is lucky to still be alive.

4. I have a piling habit. No matter what I do, I cannot seem to make the piles of mail in my house go away. My latest attempt at change is to drop off anything that is not a bill at the recycling room on my way into the apartment. Still, the piles continue. If you have any advice, don’t be shy.

5. Have I mentioned my not-so-secret desire to be nominated for “What Not To Wear?” I’ll especially need it after I give birth. I’m planning on becoming a stay-at-home mom (at least for a few months) who has given up on herself because she is so focused on her baby.

6. I am a terrible plant sitter. If my friend lifebelowtheline ever read my blog, she’d be shocked (or probably not-so-much) to find that I usually make it over to her house to water her plants the day before she returns from her vacation. Maybe I should tag her for this meme.  Nah!  So, you know, don’t ask me to feed your cats or anything. I’d do it for you, of course, but it might not be pretty.

I’m going to tag Kris, thecutestlittlebabymakers (I wonder if her belly is bigger than mine. We’re due practically the same day) and nerdgirl. XOXO


Filed under blogitty blog blog, nothing at all, Second Trimester


I got my baby bump.

It just showed up.  People patted it.

My bump. My bump my bump my bump…

my little baby bump.


Filed under Second Trimester

Weird Pregnancy Things

It is a list:

1. My hair is falling out.  I normally have very thick, wavy red hair.  Now I have flat red hair.  (The plus here, is that bangs never work for me, since my hair frizzes out.  I’m thinking of trying them now.)

2. I’m eating for two.  So, since I just finished my unprecedented fourth piece of pizza, does it really only count as my second?

3.  Everyone thinks I’m showing a little, but I’m pretty sure that is my normal food belly in maternity clothes.

4. I’m having candy withdrawl.  I know it is called a “food aversion,” but sugar only makes me sick.  I miss it.  I really want to eat some Runts. A couple of Smarties?  Please?

5. My b00bs don’t hurt anymore.  I just realized today.  Yay!

6. Another weird b00b thing.  I’m normally flat-chested-ish.  I’m a B cup.   Now I’m a C-and-a-half.  This is the weird thing: I’m not used to my breasts touching any other part of my body.  Sometimes when I slouch, they rest on my chest.  Or they touch my belly, kind of.  It is such an odd sensation for someone who has never felt it before.  It is something I guess other women feel all the time.

7.  Not getting my period is weird.  I don’t think I’m appreciating it enough.  I’ve actually saved a few bucks by not buying tampons.  Wahoo!

8.  I get hand-me-downs from other adults.  And you know what?  I’m not very styley.  I think my friends choose much cuter clothes than I do.  My fashion sense may change from this whole maternity-clothes swapping business.  I look good in skinny jeans!  Who knew?

I’m sure I’ll think of more weird pregnancy things, but that’s all for now, folks!


Filed under Second Trimester