Pants, Schmants

I spent all of Thanksgiving weekend with my jeans unbuttoned.  No, it wasn’t the turkey.  I don’t even think it was my ever-blossoming perfecto embryo.  I think it is all the extra food I’ve been eating for the past three weeks. (And maaaaaybe just a little bit of my uterus.)

I don’t like walking around pulling up and unbuttoning and re-buttoning my jeans.  Especially when most people don’t know I’m pregnant and probably think I’m just full of cranberry sauce.  So upon returning home, I made a bee-line for my pregnant friend’s apartment and demanded hand-me-down maternity pants.  She obliged with a huge pile of jeans and kahkis.

Ok.  Unlike women, these maternity pants come in three sizes, S, M and L.  I am none of the above.  I am tall, chicken-legged, with an ever-increasing waist line and buttocks region. (I just noticed my new butt in the mirror in my pre-natal yoga class on Sunday. What the?)  The stretchy parts made room for my belly, but most of the size-medium pants were way too short.  I looked like a twelve-year-old boy after a growth spurt.  (A pregnant twelve-year-old boy.)  Not only were they too short, but the crotch hung down half-way to my knees.  I mean, really, people.  You can’t bother to make your over-priced pants that I’m getting for free fit a woman?

Luckily, two pairs of pants were just a little short, acceptable with boots,  I suppose.  Two pairs of jeans actually fit.  One of them actually had a size!  My size!

And let me tell you… I did have to wear an extremely long shirt, which I proceeded to pull down over the huge elastic tummy band all day… but those pants were heaven.  I was so comfortable. Aaaah.  Perhaps I may actually spend some of my own money on some.  In a few weeks.  I love you stretchy belly band.  I love you.



Filed under First Trimester

3 responses to “Pants, Schmants

  1. Perfecto embryo or cranberry sauce – congrats on your blooming belly! My Angi has the chicken-legged, wider waist, no pants fit dillema. I can’t imagine trying to find her maternity pants. It’s hard enough as is! Glad you found a couple that will work. There is nothing worse than jeans shopping, but maybe it will be better in the maternity shops. Here’s to no more unbuttoned pre-pregger pants. Happy wearing!

  2. kris

    You should check out my maternity stash – I have some tunic things that hide the butt-crack non-maternity pants situation (for a while).

  3. Bri

    I miss maternity pants. Why are all pants not made of stretchy elastic?

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