My efforts not to think I’m pregnant after every little twinge, also known as “twinging,” are starting to falter.
My boobs hurt. I’m wearing a tight sports bra so they won’t move. If you read my blog, you’ll know that this happened last month with disasterous results. Getting my period after being so sure I was pregnant completely threw me for a loop and nearly sapped all the TTC life out of me. I’m trying to avoid that now, especially since I found a paper from my doctor listing all of my symptoms as symptoms of the injectionables I had been taking.
Until last night I was resisting the temptation to twinge pretty well. That is, until I was curled up in pain on my bed from menstrual cramps 6 days after ovulating. (Cramps today, too.) My resolve melted a little and I went ahead and did an internet search for “implantation cramping.” I ended up on some pregnancy website reading a string of bulletin board posts in which women were… well, twinging. In 2005. This fascinated me. The web is full of old conversations just hanging there. I read the descriptions of the cramps… a sharp shooting pain… just like my menstrual cramps… a strange tingly feeling… they were all different. Then I was able to scroll down and see what happened to these women two weeks later. One of them was pregnant. The rest of them were just twinging. One of the people with cramps now has an almost-two-year-old. I’m sure most of the others have little guys, too. These people were sending each other “baby dust” and other too-precious-for-me virtual spells. But they also were me a little. For what it’s worth, we’re all just women. Just women noticing our bodies in a way we never have before. Trying to do that thing women are known for.