Doubting Thomisina

I’m beginning to think that my mom’s sister Florence is on the express train to my body.

I had cramps yesterday (day 8 ) and the night before (day 7). Implantation, you say? That’s what I thought the first six times that happened. Actually, I never had cramps on day 7 before, but still…

I’m not actually bitchy, but I had a bitchy-ass dream in which I was the meanest teacher in the world. I was screaming in a really high register, like if Barry Gibb were to scream at seven-year-olds. I woke up tired. I take it as a bad omen.

My boobs still hurt. But I’m thinking maybe it might be a side-effect of the injectionables. Not that I read the little insert to check. Maybe I should.

But I’m also being a doubting Thomisina because my straight preggo friend, Nelly advised it. I hope she doesn’t mind if I quote her email, seeing as she has a codename and all:

“at least in my experience, when you’re the least optimistic about getting knocked up, you will. it happened to me, twice. so you should be drinking and dying your hair and lifting heavy objects to illustrate how NOT pg you are.”

Of course I’m too much of a goody two-shoes to follow her advice thoroughly during the TWW. I am trying on pessimism for size . (Again. I feel like I say the word “again” an awful lot on this blog.)



Filed under TTC, Waiting and waiting and...

10 responses to “Doubting Thomisina

  1. BTW– If you live in the New York area, and you do eventually pop out a little queer spawn angel, you do want to set yourself up on the Park Slope queer parenting yahoo group. Someone just asked about it, and I’ve been meaning to hook Lo and Co up with it for ages. It is the yahoo group called “psqpg.” I think you just go to yahoo groups and you have to be approved to join. –ohm

  2. Co

    Optimism or lack thereof does not affect your likelihood of getting pregnant.

    For the record, the cycle I got knocked up, I was *so good*. I didn’t drink, I had v. little caffeine except a cup of green tea each day, took lukewarm showers during the TWW, etc. But I don’t think any of those things made much difference. I think good timing, luck, and a rockin’ good response to my injectables were truly responsible. All that other stuff was just… stuff.

    For the record, that cycle by 7DPO, I was optimistic that I might be pg. It was the only cycle I’d ever been optimistic or felt pregnant. It’s not that way for everyone though. I hope you’ll have your own personal story of how it went for you the cycle it worked v. v. soon… like in a week!

  3. Lo

    So Co did not share the part about testing negative at 14dpo, becoming hysterical and having a glass of wine, and TO THIS DAY saying she has damaged Flipper.

    The hysterics….that’s a symptom.

  4. Maybe pessimism is the right way to go. We kept telling ourselves that it was better than being positive and being let down. But I guess it depends on what works for you.
    We will be positive for you that damn Aunt Flo doesn’t show.

  5. nethermeade

    Oh my friend, you’ve got me on pins and needles here. Plus, reading your blog posts has made me realize just how much of your daily trials and joys life I’ve missed. But I’d sure as hell rather read about them here than miss them altogether. So thanks for being so generous and so straight up about this emotional / hormonal / physical / political / financial / legal roller coaster ride. Can’t wait to join you in the journey sometime in ’08. My love to Cakie & your honey.

  6. alli k

    It really is about whatever works for you. Remember that whatever other people tell you, some outrageously high number of eye witnesses are wrong in their recollections when it’s possible to check them against an objective source (such as video). When someone remembers that it was only when she “gave up” that she got pregnant, it is a subjective recount of past events that is likely to be highly colored by emotion. On the other hand, there may be something to the notion that once one has let go of expectations, the consequent release of stress helps your body to conceive. In any case, though, you can’t control how you really feel. Until the time is right for you, you won’t be able to change genuine hope into not caring or true pessimism for optimism.

  7. I guess the argument for/against optimism is more about one’s reaction to her period coming than to actually getting pregnant. As you know, when poking oneself in the belly with drugs and spending thousands on sperm it is virtually impossible to “relax” or “give up.” This is more about surviving the pain of the negative test/AF.

  8. alli k

    You are a survivor by nature. I know that whether you end up ditching the injectables or end up with multiples, you’ll figure out a way to handle it that is good for you and for your family.

  9. Really? I thought I was a whiner by nature. (Not all the time, but in cases like this.)

  10. reproducinggenius

    There is now CM-inducing green tea all over my keyboard thanks to that first line of yours.

    My stepdad has the same philosophy about me getting knocked up. He’s fairly convinced that if I stay drunk for a couple of weeks after I inseminate (he calls it basting), that I’ll finally get pregnant. I keep hearing this from all of these straight people. Maybe there’s something to it!

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