Monthly Archives: September 2007

Peanuts Moment

Happiness is…

… packing for a weekend trip to squish your best friend’s new baby for the first time.

Bumming out is…

…stumbling across several expired Ovulation Predictor pee sticks while packing.

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Filed under family, TTC

Hypochondriac Moment and a Spermy Question

I woke up this morning with a sore finger.  It is sore and it has a lump in it.  I couldn’t figure out what happened.  Then half-way through the day I remembered that I’m on birth control and I decided that it is a blood clot and I’m going to die when it reaches my heart.  Have I looked it up on webmd?  No.  Have I called my doctor?  Too embarrassed.  So here I sit, regretting my lack of follow-through with my purchase of life insurance.  Sorry, honey.  At least we got the wills done.  Ahh.  It’s probably nothing but a weird bruise.

Here’s my question: I’ve heard that some sperm banks have bad reputations because they have not addressed problems with donors’ health even after several babies have been born with problems.  How do I find out if my new best friend, the cheapie sperm bank, is not one of those bad guys?  I  know California Cryobank is not, but I no longer have the thousands of bucks to purchase their stainless reputation.  Any help would be much appreciated.

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Filed under sperm shopping

Silver Lining to Birth Control?

So, Doc… if I forget to take one of these, will I get pregnant???

The very very good thing about BCPs is that they make your period go away. I knew it would happen, but it is still very enjoyable and surprising to have a 2.5 day period. I have a two-week extension on buying more sanitary supplies! Wahoo.

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Filed under the big guns, Waiting and waiting and...

I Ummm Errr… & Reason # 167 Why I’m Glad I’m Not a Straight Chick

That magazine wants to publish my letter.  Good.  I had a good point.  But I asked them to edit out the curses.

Reason #167

I’m glad I’m not a straight chick because this birth control business makes me cranky.  God forbid you forget your lunch upstairs when we go down for recess. Heaven help you if you put a colored pencil into my electric sharpener.  I didn’t yell, but I was very snippy.  Tread lightly little children.  Tread lightly.

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Filed under blogitty blog blog, LGBT, teaching

Silver Linings

I always manage to find them.

Silver Lining #1

Ok. According to my friends — not Dr. Otherguy who was too busy in his swamped, post-Yom Kippur office to explain things to me thoroughly– after I go off the pill in two weeks, I will get my period again and be at day one of a new cycle. This is great because it means I don’t have to wait a whole month to try a new cycle.   It is also heartening that Co got preggo on her first cycle after being on BCPs and getting injectionables. The drawback is that it puts a kink in my plan to have Vee and Jay’s international twin, since we’re cycle-mates. Oh, well.

Silver Lining #2

I get to continue with my plan to blow off all previous commitments to go to Boston this weekend to meet my best friend’s new baby.   This plan will be unfettered by ultrasound and blood test commitments.

Silver Lining #3

I don’t have to go back the the Dr. for two more weeks.   And no needles for two more weeks!

Silver Lining #4

My boobs might get bigger.  See, I was on the pill three times in my life.  (Yeah, I used to have many boyfriends.)

I started out flat-chested.  When I went on the pill I got boobs.  When I went off, they went away.  When I went back on, they came back.  When I went off, they went away again.  The third time I went on and off, the little boobs stayed.  To this day I credit the pill for making me not completely flat-chested.

BTW, a word to the wise:  getting a mammogram = ouch.  Getting a mammogram when you are a B-cup = major ouch.  Getting a mammogram when you are a B-cup and you still have your period and you had sore boobs for ten days out of the last 13 = YEEEEEoooooouuuuuuuCH!  But I do feel wise for getting a mammogram at all.  And I feel like it will make me feel good to know that everything is in order with the girls.

The Last Silver Lining

I needed a break.  This became quite apparent while I was crying like a maniac on the A train.  I lost my ever-loving mind.  So a forced break is not so bad.  I will try to be zen about it.

Finally, I need to thank Lo.  She sent me info on a far far cheaper cryobank that actually has more than one donor of African descent.  I am very excited to spend less money on man spooge.  Very excited.

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Filed under sperm shopping, Uncategorized, Waiting and waiting and...

Two Letters

Letter #1

To editors of all women’s magazines with a demographic over 21 years old:

You know the article?  The one in which you talk about how working women should not put off baby-making until it is too late?  For example, in “Pink” magazine, the one in my reproductive endocrinologist’s office, the article was entitled, “Should Businesswomen Put Having a Baby On Their ‘To Do’ Lists?”  Those articles?  Don’t publish them.  OK?

If, for example, you also have in your magazine articles on how to have a more green workplace or best cities for families, your readers are not twenty years old.  If they have any sway in their workplace or the ability to buy a house, guess what?  They are probably in their thirties.  If they are in their thirties, they don’t need to read an article about that they should have done when they were twenty.  It pisses them off.  Especially if they are the kind of person who never thought they’d be sitting in a reproductive endocrinologists office at 36.  But when you are 30, and you finally found Ms. Right, you can’t have a baby immediately. You need to build a life together.  So you may decide to aim for starting to try when you are thirty-three.  But if your Ms. Right is two years older than you, you would naturally want her to try first.  And when your known donor you take six months to find wants a donor agreement and you have the slowest lawyer in the world, and you try for several months after waiting several months just to start trying, and the known donor moves away and you decide that shipping fresh sperm isn’t working.  And you try a cryobank, and several months after that Ms. Right gets pregnant.  And you are 34 already.  You don’t want to be pregnant at the same time as Ms. Right.  Then your sweet baby is born.  And you are living with a newborn.  And you don’t want to be living with two newborns.  So you wait until sweet baby is almost one to start trying.  And you try and you try and you try ten times.  And the next thing you know, you’re 36 sitting in a reproductive endocrinologist’s waiting room reading a thoughtless article.

So just resist the temptation to hurt your readers.  It is neither informative nor appropriate.  Women are not stupid.  We don’t “just let the time slip by.”  We don’t think that because Madonna got pregnant at 42, that we can.  We just sometimes need to wait until we are able.  And sometimes when we are finally able, we’re not so able.  Tell the author to send a query to Seventeen magazine.  I will not be subscribing to “Pink.”  Or any other such heartless rag.

Piss off,

oneofhismoms

Letter #2

To the Dear Sweet Beautiful Young Man on the A Train:

It really was amazingly sweet of you to come over to me on the train when I was crying.  I know, I was crying really hard.  Thanks for asking if there was some way you could help me.  You were really quite adorable dressed in your Sunday Best sitting with your equally-adorable twenty-something friends with your well-cut suits and your shiny square-toed shoes.  I know, I just said, “No thanks, I’m ok.  I’m just sad.”  But I could tell that you wanted to know why I was crying so hard.

See, I’m having some trouble having a baby.  I thought I was going to try this thing this month which would really raise my chances.  I tried last month, but the timing was off.  But when I went to the doctor this morning, he said I had a cyst on my ovary and I have to take, of all things, birth control to help it go away.  And I can try this month, but not with the big guns.  And I’m running out of room on my credit card.  And I never thought I’d be in this situation.

So if you really want to help, here’s my address.  You could just stop by my house in around 11 days with some of your lovely genetic material in a cup.  That would totally make me stop crying.  If that wasn’t what you had in mind, I guess you could pray for my ovaries to make a bunch more good eggs.  Or even a baby.  That would be great.  You are a kind person.  I hope my children will behave like you when they are grown.

Thanks again,

oneofhismoms

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Filed under NYC What is it about you?, sperm shopping, the big guns, Waiting and waiting and...

B00beelicious

Why did they hurt?

That’s my big question of the day.  During my first TWW I was nauseated the whole month.  I was sure it was because I was pregnant.  A week later, I learned that I had an ear infection.

I have a few theories on the b00by pain, none of which have any basis in science:

1. I was one of 1.something percent of women who experienced breast pain using Menopur.

2. I made them hurt by being sure I was pregnant.  Also the reason for the delay in my period.  AKA, I’m nuts.

3. This one is way out in left field… I actually was a little pregnant.  I don’t think having a fertilzed egg in me would make my brea$ts hurt without ever implanting, but if I choose to believe this theory, I feel less like a crazy person.

4. There is something wrong with them.  I have a mammogram scheduled for Monday.  Oye.  They still hurt a little.  Let’s all hope this doesn’t change into any other kind of a medical lady-parts blog, ok?

I go back to the doctor tomorrow.  The weird thing about going all Western medicine with this is that the two weeks in which you get to drink seem to go really fast because I spend so much time with my doctor.  And possibly because you get to drink.

(I’m not actually too much of a lush.  I just enjoy my white wine.  I admit to drinking it much more often since I have been TTC, because I keep thinking I’m going to have to deny myself for ten months very very soon.)

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