Dear Power Cord,
I know that in the past I have taken you for granted. I know that sometimes I may have even left you on the floor or dangled you from a table top. You have always been there for me. When I needed to vent about my vajayjay to my Internet sisters, you were there. When I needed to check the weather, or google “Americans With Disabilities Act, infertility” you were there.
I know it is cliche, but it was not until you were gone that I realized the important role you play in my life. Now, gazing into your one green eye, I fully understand the shallow, empty, mostly productive life I would have if you were not in it. I want you to know. I am making a solemn vow this day, I shall never ever leave you 200 miles from my home again. When I do an idiot check before we leave, I will be an idiot to not check the power outlets.
I love you, power cord. Please don’t ever leave me again.
PS I have to admit, I tried to replace you in your absence. It was of no use. You are the only one for me.