My back hurts.
See, I got up at 4:48am. After getting up at 2:10 when Cakie came into our bed. Then we got up every five minutes or so while Cake rolled, kicked, and talked in our bed until A took him into the living room of our vacation condo. I got up at 4:48 and drove from Wildwood, NJ to 59th St. Manhattan. I listened to my gay boyfriend, Rufus Wainright, all the way up. The same CD. That’s something I can only get away with when driving alone. If you were to mapQuest it, it would say that the trip takes 2.5 hours. I took me three. Damn Lincoln Tunnel. Three hours to get to my IUI, you say? No. No. Three hours to get to my ultrasound. Yeah, just an ultrasound. On Thursday, Cakie’s second birthday, I get to do the drive again for the IUI. It was three hours of me saying to myself, You’re not that crazy. Some people fly every month to meet up with their fresh donors. It’s like having a long-distance relationship with a stranger. Some people commute this far several times a week, if not every day. Truck drivers do this all day.
My doctor also thought I was a little batty, but I explained that I need to try this month. I’m a teacher and school starts next month. This is going to be much more difficult when I’m supposed to be at work. I told him about how I’m reluctant to explain my latenesses to my boss, who is not the most sensitive person when it comes to taking childcare leave. I think he convinced me to tell her. He said I should put it in writing. I am protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act. She has to accommodate my special needs. I am thus-far dis-able to get knocked up. I think I might do it. I would love to not have to lie and worry about it every time. What do you guys think? What would you do?
Anyway, after falling asleep on the slanted examination bed and crying from exhaustion and emotion and possibly too much Rufus Wainright, I did learn that I have two — not one– TWO follicles on my left ovary. One is 18.5 mm and one is 14mm. Those are approximately the same size follicles as my friend’s who is now pregnant with twins. Wouldn’t that be ironic if I got pregnant with fraternal twins on my last natural cycle? Oh, did I mention that this is my last natural cycle? So much news.
I have a consultation next Wednesday to discuss the next steps with the doctor. Do you like how we’re all expecting this cycle not to work? It is all part of my master plan to be pessimistic this cycle. Right, like that’s going to work.