Day 10

Ok.  I lived through days 8 and 9, which always suck.  I had cramps on day 8 and only an ignorable twinge or two on day 9.  That’s good for me.  Usually I get strongish periody cramps on day 9 and I lose all hope.

Now, after my near psychotic break on Monday, I am trying to prepare myself for disappointment just in case.  This is hard for an optimist.  Hard, I think, but a little healthy.  If I’m not pregnant, I’m not pregnant.  I can still do this.  I can still try.  I still have a more room on my credit card for more sperm.  If I run out of that, I can always re-start our fresh donor search.  All is not lost.

Hopefully all is not necessary.  I may test tomorrow.  Would that be foolhardy?  I figure it is early enough to not create the much-hated test-then-bleed phenomenon, late enough to possibly almost have some kind of hint of a positive test, and early enough to not lose my $hit if it is negative because it is so early.  If you understood that last sentence I give you an A+.

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7 Comments

Filed under TTC

7 responses to “Day 10

  1. It’s a bit scary but I do understand the last sentence. Testing is always hard because it might mean something but then again it might not. If you can’t stop thinking about it, you should test early, but then try to distract yourself if it’s not the result you want. I’m no expert but that’s what I think. Does that make any sense?

  2. I understand that sentence. It’s all about keeping faith. If you do test early, a negative can mean that you just tested early. I guess the flip side is that it could be positive, right?!?!

  3. vee

    I know what you mean. Kind of.

    I’ve never yet actually tested in all the times we’ve tried. I’m not being smug, just that my LP is short anyway (10-11 days), so I’ve always bled before I’ve really got to the point where I’ve felt I was in with a chance of seeing that second line. I’m more of a pessimist though and I’m not sure I could bear a negative test and maintain any kind of hope, so I figure it would just prolong my misery.

    I’m also a bit of a tightwad and those tests are pricy!!

  4. Lo

    Oh, I get it. Co always tested (though never quite as early as you’re talking, but her LP is longer plus the hoo-ha bullets…) and I never wanted to because I am of the “hope ’til blood” camp. In fact, when she went in for her betas after bleeding, I would think to myself, hell, maybe it’s late implantation bleeding. ha.

    But I would have to agree that you can’t lose with such an early test. If it’s negative, so what??

  5. SW

    I’m in the camp of losing hope once I see that first negative. I wish I had the willpower to not test until a real missed period (for me 14 or 15 dpo). Best of luck no matter what you decide!

  6. I get it too. You’re not so alone in that “early testing” need.

    I say do it. It can’t hurt.

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