Our almost-two-year-old son, Cakie, has been to South Carolina to visit his nana three times. The first time, he was just a wee babe of three months. It was his first plane ride and we were nervous wrecks. We were sure he’d disturb the whole plane and cry the whole way. It turns out that Cakie was fine and we were the ones who got motion sick. Cakie just spent the whole time flirting with the woman sitting across the aisle.
The second time, was in February. We thought we were doing the right thing by purchasing a seat for him and his hulking car seat. It turns out that when he was in the seat, he spent every moment kicking the back of the seat in front of him. He really had no choice, since his long legs made him press his feet up against the seat. So he spent a lot of time in our laps anyway.
This time, at almost two, we figured we’d go the lap route, since it is the last time we can get away with it. Ha. It was a little insane. You know, toddlers don’t really like sitting still for very long. So an hour and a half, though a short flight, was not short enough for our baby. After much screaming and “Down! Down! Upanddown!” and pointing to the hatch door “openitopenitopenit!” The flight attendant thought she might clam him down with some peanuts. Peanuts are the only food pretty much that we’re still not feeding him. We don’t know the donor personally, and we don’t want to take chaces with a peanut allergy, so we’re holding off until he turns two. He heard the woman say “peanuts.” Since he’s recently learned the terms for advanced body parts he started yelling, “Penis! PENIS! MYYYYY PENIS!” Ah. Comic relief.
Did I mention that we were sitting in the bulkhead? Normally that would be a good thing, but on the tiny plane to SC, it was a mess. We had no seat under which we could store our luggage. So our feet were surrounded by bags of Cakie distractions. We also had no tray table or mini-tv. I’d hidden the peanuts under my back, and was now wrestling with him with the “big guns” distraction which was supposed to be saved for the ultimate melt-down, but somehow made its way out of the bag before we left the ground: our neighbor’s DVD player. We were trying to let him watch it without letting him smash it into little bits.
Near the end of the flight, I got another little surprise. It hasn’t happened in a long time. We’d let him play with and drink from a bottle of water while waiting for the plane. I guess he’d had too much, because I soon felt a warm spot spreading out on my leg. Yes, I had pee on my leg. I guess there are worse things. When the plane finally landed and we emerged, pee-soaked and cracker-encrusted, DVD player miraculously intact, we embraced nana. All I can do is think about how my friend Nelly was on a plane to LA this week with her same-aged son. I just hope she bought him a seat.