Outside of the Celebration

The morning was about stuffing my face with my dim sum buddies.  We go a few times a year. We used to be a writing group.  Now we just eat dumplings together.

While we were stuffing our faces, many of my gay colleagues (as the gays call each other in Costa Rica) were tying the knot, legally, for the first time in my state.  It is a big day for the big gays.

I’ve never been one to rush to be the first to do anything.  And though I admittedly enjoy the limelight from time to time, I felt no rush to the altar today.  We haven’t had our wedding yet. We were waiting for it to be legal in NY.  And I’ll be damned if I’m going to plan my one and only wedding in 30 days!

But I did want to go down there and get caught up in the excitement.  One of my friends had wanted to go down and serenade people as they exited the office building.  I said I’d join her, but of course, with the kids, the timing was all wrong and I went at the one time when she couldn’t make it.  My fiancee is not interested in the limelight, ever.  So she stayed home with the kids.  And there I was.  By the time I got there, it was 3 pm.  There were more photographers than any other people.  There was one couple getting ready to go in.  A few people around the couple were dressed up, but obviously not the center of attention.  There was a man and woman passing out yellow flowers to onlookers.  I felt a little invisible.  And hot.  I felt hot.  I stood there holding my yellow flower.  Wondering what to do.  There was no hullabulloo.  Just a little fuss.  Then, a couple of women rode up on bikes.  One woman was wearing a rainbow flag as a cape.  All of the reporters ran up to them.  Are you getting married?  Where do you live?  How old are you? No, they aren’t getting married until DOMA is repealed. They are 24 and 25.  I was standing next to them thinking, I’m getting married.  I’ve been with my partner for 12 years.  I just turned 40! I have two little boys. I was just standing there with my yellow flower.

Then it happened.

The moment I had actually gone there for, the reason I left my honey alone with two cranky boys: the couple who was actually getting married stood together.  Their friends stood behind them.  In a procession. And they walked into the City Clerk’s office.  That was it.

I burst into tears.

I had no tissues.  I didn’t know the couple.

But they were walking in to get married. Married!  In New York!

I guess it didn’t feel real until I saw that.  I wiped my eyes, quietly, and walked to the subway.

[Mazel tov to my friends who are newlyweds today: the L & C and M & A!  And, of course, to any other friends who may have been hitched?! I was trolling the wedding photo sites for any familiar faces.  All I saw was a possible ex-gf.]

3 Comments

Filed under family, gay marriage

3 responses to “Outside of the Celebration

  1. reproducinggenius

    I remember such a similar feeling when California went legal for a short time. Seeing all of these couples finally getting married was so emotional for me. I’m so, so excited for New York. Thank you for sharing this moment. Lovely, lovely post.

  2. Lo

    Thanks, OOHM! Can’t wait to hear about yours.

  3. Casey

    Such a lovely post–thanks for sharing the moment. I just feel so sorry for all my fellow Californians who are now married, but unequal. :( I’m hoping NY’s good love will spread westward. We all deserve it.

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