The Plan

Sorry for pins and needles.
I’ve decided to test tomorrow.  I need one more day of hope.
(No blood today!)

Twinge/Untwinge

I woke up with that periody feeling this morning. (Not pregnant?)
I had a slightly elevated temperature last night and right now. (Pregnant?)
I did not have much patience today. (Not pregnant? Or just the day before Halloween with 18 seven-year-olds?)
My b0obs hurt as though they are not bo0bs, but parasites sucking the life from my [...]

Weird Baby Dream

I forgot to tell you about my weird baby dream.  I had my little newborn daughter.  She was soo cute and squishy.  She was about a month old in the dream.  Then I realized that I had forgotten to breastfeed her.  My milk had dried up.  The rest of the dream was me doing crazy [...]

Day 10

Whew.
Only a few more days to go.
I don’t know, people.  I didn’t feel crampy.  I was a little short-tempered.  Thinking over it, though, I think anyone would have been short-tempered with my class today.
Oh, and goddess bless the sport bra!  I haven’t taken this thing off in quite some time.  And I don’t plan to [...]

Esperanzita

That means “little hope” in Spanish.  As in, I’m actually getting a little.
I don’t want it, though.  Damn it.  In this TWV business, hope is a thing with razors as far as I’m concerned.
But here’s the thing.  I cramped like crazy for days 6,7 and 8 po.  I usually don’t cramp until day 9. (Then [...]

It Is Soooooo Hard…

…to not twinge when one is buckled over in pain on one’s bed for three hours.  This is my third day of laying-in-bed menstrual-like cramps.  In a normal cycle I do not cramp until day 9.   I started cramping at day 6.  Last month, I did injectionables as well, and I didn’t cramp at all.  [...]

Effie, We’ve All Got Pains!

My efforts not to think I’m pregnant after every little twinge, also known as “twinging,”  are starting to falter.
My boobs hurt.  I’m wearing a tight sports bra so they won’t move.  If you read my blog, you’ll know that this happened last month with disasterous results.  Getting my period after being so sure I was [...]

A Little Better

Today I felt a little less mean.
I was a little less stressed.
I also felt crampy like I’m going to get my period.  I actually checked when I went to the bathroom.
I’m trying not to twinge, so I’m thinking that it is an injectionable thing.
Thanks for telling me I don’t look old.  Especially my mom, who [...]

Thanks to the Injectionables

Day 5 po
I have lost my ever-loving mind.
I will cry and hate myself over the dumbest things.  This morning I couldn’t find five spelling tests that I actually took home in my jeans pocket last week.  I left the house calling myself an idiot and weeping.  I cried myself to sleep last night for no [...]

Well, duh.

TS Eliot has some great quote about once you’ve looked long and hard for something, you’ll find that you already found it when you started.  Here it is:
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
I [...]